Hearts Break, Tables Turn and Lives are Emptied
by ellibells
Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. Emotional Chair fic, it will probably surprise you...
1. Chapter 1

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 1

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: I literally cried when Chuck told Riana she was 'sacred' to him. After all that happened with him and Blair, he went off and fell for someone else; I was not even slightly amused or impressed so I had to write a fic to express how mad I was and how distraught Blair must be, enjoy! Also, I STRONGLY recommend you listen to **Turning Tables** by **Adele**, it kinda inspired this story :)

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"_That's not true…you__, are sacred to me…"_

A knife had just stabbed her through the chest. She couldn't breathe, she was numb. She needed to get out of there, she, she didn't know how to feel.

Her whole body was aching, not just her heart. She wanted to close her eyes and make everything leave her.

Her feet started to move as she pushed the curtains hanging in her way, aside. She knew Chuck was still in the room but she needed air. Her feet wouldn't slow as the tears drenched her cheeks.

She ran past Chuck who had only just realised she had been listening to the whole thing. What had he done?

"Blair! Wait…" He tried but it was too late, he was about to go after he when Dan appeared from the curtain.

At first, Dan didn't say anything, instead his just looked in disgust at the man Blair Waldorf, _loved._

"I should have known…" Chuck shot at him.

"To think she actually loves you. She deserves better than all of this, yet you keep her hanging on. When are you going to realise that you're not the only one who's going to get hurt?" that was all Dan said when he left the room in search of Blair.

Chuck felt like he had been punched in the face. There was nothing left.

"I didn't know…I-I", Chuck tried to mutter in protest but there was no one to hear his pleas.

xoxo

Blair ran through the main hall, past everyone who had turned to stare at the _girl_ who was running in distress.

She wanted to jump, she wanted to sink, she wanted to be a little _girl _again when nothing mattered and nothing hurt but sticks and stones, the simple none pretence of her life that used to be.

Serena saw what was happening and shouted after her best friend in an attempt to slow her.

"B! What's happened, stop…" Blair heard as the voice became distant and all she could hear was her heart drumming in her chest.

Her body ached for relief, relief of the pain. She never thought a breaking heart would be so literal. She couldn't breathe; the limbs she carried were throbbing, aching in irrationalised pain.

Her body didn't slow, her heart wouldn't slow, the tears wouldn't slow.

She ran straight into the road and before anyone could stop her, before she could realise what she had done, before she could feel her body going cold…she heard the screaming, she felt the pain…

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A/N: I know that was short but...Tell me what you think because I am considering continuing. If i do, it will be much longer... but if you're not feeling, please tell me. Review so I know how you felt about it and thank you :)


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 2

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: Thank you for all your amazing responses, i seriously didn't expect this many in just one short chapter! Your are amazing people! So to thank you for reading and reviewing...I am now happy to continue with this story although it is very sad :( For this chapter, I recommend **Set Fire to the Rain by Adele**. This chapter revolves around Serena and Chuck mostly so, I hope I do you all proud with this next chapter as it took me a lot of time and tears writing it, so here goes…

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"_That's not true…you, are sacred to me…" _

Echoed in Blair's ears as she felt her body go cold and the screams behind her subsiding into a mellow nothing.

Serena came running out of the hall after Blair and before she could say anything, stop anyone, she heard the breaking of bones and the crashing off a car into her best friend.

Screams, tears, she screamed as she ran out of the building, towards her lifeless body.

Dan was by her side in an instant; people were gathering, shouting and screaming.

"Someone. Anyone! Call an ambulance!" Serena shouted, searching her eyes up for support, she found Dan, phone already in his hand.

"B, talk me please, don't close you eyes, look at me!" Serena begged, trying not to move her, but pleading with her life for her to stay awake.

"S…my heart…I-I…" she tried, a tear streaking down her cheek.

A flash or red, a flash of black, a flash of blue and a flash of her life transpired through her body before it all just went black and she no longer had any feeling.

"B, please don't leave me like this, you're not weak. Do not let go of my hand, do not close your eyes…" Serena pleaded, grasping onto her best friends wrist searching for a life-line, searching for anything.

xoxo

Chuck heard the screaming and knew immediately. He didn't know how or why, he just knew it was his fault.

He ran as many steps as he could manage before his eyes were met with a crowd of people being cleared to see his heart on the floor.

"MOVE! Blair!" he ran towards his sister and the woman he had always loved.

"Oh god…please no…" He breathed, looking down at her lifeless body, brushing his hand against her collar bone and along her cheek in search of anything.

"Ambulance! Help!" he yelled, only realising what needed to happen.

His eyes searched Serena's drenched ones. She could only nod, still holding onto the only life line she had left.

Chuck cried out in pain. If this was a broken heart, he didn't want it. He couldn't live with it.

"I'm sorry, Baby, please wake up. You can't leave me…" tears dripped against her cheek.

"I need you…I need you to fight for us…" was the last thing Chuck said as he got dragged away from the scene by Dan and Nate who had just appeared, as the paramedics worked on her small lifeless body.

He couldn't leave her, he punched his way out of their grasp, yelling and crying as he struggled with what was happening.

When they put up too much of a fight, he was exhausted and had no more energy to spare. He collapsed onto the floor, bringing his knees to his chest and holding his aching head in his hands.

He felt a sense of vague security as Nate pulled him up off the floor and into his arms. He wasn't worthy to be alive, never mind comforted.

He let his best friend drag him into his embrace and sunk like a little _boy _into his arms. It shouldn't have been his arms, it should have been hers.

She had been pushing and fighting for him while he lost his way, lost his feeling, leaving her as his victim once more.

Serena had be forced to let go of _her_ life-line as the paramedic attached tubes to her body and put her on a stretcher. The only hope that she was clinging onto was restored when she saw Blair's chest rise and fall ever so slightly as they ushers her into the ambulance. But it still wasn't enough to rid her of the feeling that welled in her chest.

Following them into the ambulance, she sat, looking back to see Chuck in Nate's tight grasp. Her heart broke more than it already had. She knew it had something to do with him yet she couldn't find herself blaming him.

She just felt sorry for them both. Two people she loved fighting for dominance of their love, yet no one would ever win, instead they got hurt.

Sometimes things stayed the same.

Although the game stayed they same, the tables would always be turning and the players would always be losing.

xoxo

The journey to the hospital felt like an eternity. Serena had never been so scared in all her existence.

She could no longer correspond what the paramedics were saying. She had answered everything she could. _Her_ name, her age, her sister…

Now all she could do was wait.

They had rushed Blair straight into surgery. Serena wasn't sure why because all she wanted to do was blank out the noise, blank out the memory, the image of Blair laying on the tarmac, broken, bruised and bloody.

Her blank sense of reality was interrupted when Chuck and Nate burst through the door; Nate trying to slow Chuck's movements.

"Where is she?" Chuck almost shouted to his sister who was sat looking ever so pale and vacant.

When she didn't answer, he shouted.

"Tell me! I need to know she's ok…please…" Chuck begged as he slumped once again onto the floor, on his knees in front of his sister, grasping on her arms for a response.

The silence finally broke.

"Surgery. She lost a lot of blood and I-I..." was all she could manage.

Chuck released his grasp on her arms and sunk his head back into them.

"It is all my fault…what have I done…" Shaking his head, murmuring and repeating.

"I destroy everything I touch." He snapped punching the wall next to him.

Serena was shocked out of her trance and quickly looked down to Chuck who was on his knees still. His fist red for the punch.

She grabbed his face with her hand, making him look at her silvery orbs and she stared into his wet ones.

"You need to stop. Just stop… You always think you're not good enough, god dammit Chuck!" She yelled out of anger.

"You were… you are good enough for her. Why can't you stop running a stray and fight instead of blaming everything that's happened?"

"I told Raina that she was- was sacred to me and….she overheard…"

"It is my fault; everything always is and always will be. Don't you understand? I'm only ever good enough for hurting people", Chuck broke down into a fit of tears.

"I-I started to fall for someone else…I made my-myself, wh- when she was fighting for me…" he explained the best he could.

"Why", she didn't understand.

"I knew she wouldn't come back to me…I thought…I thought she would let me go and move on…" he admitted honestly.

"You two are so misguided…" Serena concluded as she hugged onto his body.

xoxo

After a while of just sitting there, their silence was interrupted again as Eleanor, Cyrus and Lily came through the doors.

"Where is my daughter? My little girl?" Eleanor panicked as she saw the three best friends sitting in silence looking numb.

Nate was the first one to speak, the only one to speak.

"They've taken her into surgery. When the car hit her, she lost a lot of blood, that's all we know…" Nate informed the best he could.

Eleanor wasn't satisfied with the response and started banging on the reception desk.

"Tell me what is happening to my daughter! I need to know!" Eleanor yelled, not caring who heard.

The sound of Eleanor's shouting just lingered in the back of Chuck's mind. He felt someone else's presence and he saw out of the corner of his eye, Lily taking a seat on the floor next to her _children_.

Chuck couldn't look at her, he was ashamed.

When Serena accepted her mother's embrace, Chuck was resistant as Lily tried to do the same for her _son_. But he couldn't. He wouldn't let himself.

"I don't care…" Lily let out quietly and Chuck understood.

He stopped fighting for the moment and let Lily take her hold around his broad shoulders. It was surreal. As he let himself cry against his _mother_, he realised that he should have never doubted what a family meant, what love meant. But as he sat there; in the warm, yet cold embrace of his adoptive mother, he knew it was all too late…

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A/N: Good? Bad? Please let me know and I will update soon :) Thanks for reading as always. Oh my…what's that button I see below…is it a review button by any chance? I'm not sure; you'll have to click on it and check! ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 3

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: **Look After You by The Fray** for this chapter goes well me thinks. Erm so this one is pretty emotional, I cried writing parts and it is very much the vulnerability of what is happening, kinda my building blocks for how things are going to play out. Bare with me! So here we go…and don't forget to drop a review :) enjoy.

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"_That's not true…you, are sacred to me…" _

Were the only words that kept repeating in his head as they waited for news.

Everyone was in the waiting room; no one had spoken since Eleanor had blown up at the receptionist and demanded answers. It was now 3 hours later and everyone was dreading what came next.

When a doctor finally came through the doors, the posture of the room straightened and everyone became more aware of what was happening.

"Are you Blair's mother?" the tall doctor addressed Eleanor who had walked towards him impatiently wanting answers.

Eleanor nodded with anticipation.

"I'm Doctor Philips…"

"Your daughter was badly injured when the car hit her. She has suffered a few broken ribs which has resulted in a lung puncture. Her left leg is fractured and her right arm is quite badly broken also. We've done scans on her brain for any damage and so far all we know is that there is swelling and before that goes down, we are not quite sure how extensive the damage is, if there is any", the doctor explained.

The sea of people in the room sat in silence still, too unbearable to even move.

"Can we….can we see here?" Eleanor struggled to digest the information she had just been given.

"At the moment she is in the intensive care unit on a ventilator which is helping her to breathe. So for the next few hours it is going to be touch and go until she wakes up. You can see her shortly but all I can tell you is to prepare for the worst".

Eleanor broke down into tears. Cyrus was at her side in an instant directing his distraught gaze at the doctor stood in front of them.

Chuck couldn't breathe.

"I will also need to talk to you and Blair's next of kin in private", he added.

"What-what do you mean? I am Blair's next of kin, I-I'm her mother", Eleanor was confused until her eyes traced around the room to find Chuck.

He could feel everyone's stare as he looked up. He remembered now. Last year Blair had put him down as her next of kin when she started NYU, knowing that her mother would be in Paris a lot, it would be simpler to put Chuck on her form in case of any emergency.

Chuck slowly began to stand, dragging his feet to where Eleanor and the doctor were standing.

"Are you Mr Bass?" the doctor asked.

He nodded. He could barely move, never mind allow words to be formed on his lips.

"If you would come this way please…" he trailed off as he led the pair into a deserted corridor.

xoxo

A chill ran through Chuck's body. Dreading the words that were inevitably going to run out of the doctor's mouth.

"As you know, Blair is critical. If anything happens, I need your consent as to what to do with Blair's organs and whether or not you want us to resuscitate her…" the doctor said as gently as he could.

"Keep her alive. Resuscitate her." Chuck almost yelled insistently before Eleanor could speak.

"Charles…" Eleanor tried to calm him.

He let a tear fall from his cheek but brushed it away quickly before she noticed.

She noticed.

"NO! You will fight for her. You will not let her die. Not my Blair." He shot, resisting her effort.

The doctor looked to Eleanor who was still crying yet nodding in confirmation.

"And her organs?"

"It won't come to that, it's not necessary." Chuck snapped again, denying the possibility, denying the possible truth.

"She's a donor…" Eleanor breathed.

"You can't be serious!" Chuck yelled at her.

"You've already given up her! She is NOT going to die. I will not let it happen". Before anyone could respond, he was gone.

He ran. Ran from the truth.

xoxo

When they were finally allowed to see Blair, they all had a short moment with her before they had to leave. Chuck had already left.

Tubes ran everywhere into her petit, pale body. The only life-line she was hanging onto was the continuous _beeps beep beep._

They had all had their time with Blair. Maybe it was their last time. Maybe it was hers.

Nate had gone in search of Chuck who had fled from the corridor. As he walked outside of the main building of the hospital, he found him sat with his back against the wall, slumped like a little boy.

He approached cautiously and sat down next to his best friend.

"What have I done?" he muttered as his head was buried into his knees.

"I killed the only thing I ever loved. She's gunna die. I murdered her…" he admitted.

"Don't you ever say that. Don't you dare!" Nate shot.

Chuck had never seen Nathaniel this angry, maybe once or twice but not like this.

"I will never forgive myself. I-I can't lose her…" he cried freely as Nate pulled him into his embrace.

"She's Blair Waldorf. Nothing beats Blair…she's strong, you know better than anyone".

"How can she be strong when I broke her, sh-she heard me tell Raina…I-I killed the only hope she had left…what if that was th-the only reason she had left to fight?"

"Blair will never and has never stopped fighting. Not for you and not for herself." Nate said no more…he couldn't, he didn't know how.

He just stayed there with his best friend, holding onto him for both their benefit. Piece by piece he was dying. Every minute that went by.

xoxo

Serena and Eleanor were just about to their Blair's side when the _beeps _of her life-line changed rhythm, the rate picked up. People panicked. Serena pressed the emergency button as a team full of nurses ran into the room.

"What's happening! Help my baby!" Eleanor screamed as she was dragged out of the room by two nurses, Serena too.

They couldn't move, only stood in a trance, watching tubes and wires being pulled and pushed. Her tiny chest being pumped up and down. Oxygen masks. Life-lines…

Countless amounts of people ran in and out of the room as her family watched restlessly.

It felt like hours. To them it was. To Blair…they had no idea, but the moment the resuscitation started, was the moment everyone stopped breathing.

A jolt of energy ran through Blair's body, up her spine. But she felt cold and the only words of comfort she could think to herself, to block out the scream and unfamiliar voices were Chuck's.

"…_I love you too…"_

"…_I'm not Chuck Bass without you…"_

"…_If two people are meant to be together…eventually they will find their way back…"_

"…_Do you really believe that…"_

"…_I do…"_

"…_So do I…"_

Flashing lights. Blue. Black. Red. White…Black.

Hearts break…tables turn and the players always lose…

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A/N: Wow! I am so mean…cliff hanger much? So what did you think? I wrote this chapter as one, but reading it back, I decided to split it into two and leave a bit of anxiety for you all….dum! :D drop me a review please :)


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 4

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: You guys! I never in a million years expected this response to my story! It warms my heart that you lot like my writing :) I am truly overwhelmed. **Run by Snow Patrol **for this chapter. So…you will finally see what has happened to Blair here and this is going to be some more build up to building those bridges between the characters. Enjoy.

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"_That's not true…you, are sacred to me…" _

It must have been hours since Chuck had left and Nate had found him.

The pair were about to get some coffee when their silence was interrupted by Serena who came running out of the building.

Only one look on her face and Chuck knew. Nate knew. Something wasn't right.

"What is it? Tell me." Nate shot, needing answers.

"He-her heart rate picked up an-and…there were lots of people…tubes…they're resuscitating her…it's been so lo-long." Serena broke down into Nate's arms. Maybe things do change.

"No. No. Not Blair. My Blair." The tears that had just subsided from him came again. Slowly down his strong cheeks before he brushed away the evidence.

Gone. Chuck couldn't take the repeating of words in his head. He ran this time. He really ran.

Before either of them could stop him of realise what had happened, he was gone into the black of the night.

Their attention was caught when Lily came rushing out of the doors.

"She's stable!…she-she's awake…" tears streaking her mature features..

"She hasn't got…got any damage in her brain…"

"She's resting, but she's not out of the woods yet".

There was a sigh of relief.

Was it relief? No. It wasn't even hope. No one knew what it was. But it was real.

"Where is Charles?"

Nate shook his head, handing Serena to her mother before he did as he always did. Pick up the piece of his best friend. _His _brother.

He knew where to look.

xoxo

Chuck Bass was found where he always felt _safe. _He had a taste for rooftops it seemed as Nate quietly walked to ledge, where Chuck was sitting, his legs dangling off the edge, crying silently.

Chuck knew. He could feel another person's presence behind him, but didn't bother to look. He didn't bother to do anything. He had just killed a person, the person he _loves_. Or so he thought.

He wiped his stray tears from his face, still not turning to look at the interruption.

"She's a fighter." Was all he said.

Was it relief? No. No one knew what it was. But it was real.

Chuck let go of the breath he had been keeping inside. Another tear straying from his orbs, landing in the car park somewhere. It should have been him.

"Chuck, you should go and see her…" Nate suggested.

"Why? To kill her all over again?" he added bitterly.

"She's not dead!" he shouted. He needed to hear it for himself.

"I-I can't..."

"She needs to know you care, that she fought for a reason. Forget about Raina. Forget about what she heard, prove her wrong."

"Not for one second…I never-never stopped caring. Not once…" sniffles. Guilt. Protest.

"Show her…"

"I need you…I need you to come…" Chuck said quietly at the confession of needing his best friend for support. Admitting he needed to show her.

Nate nodded straight away. He wouldn't turn his back. Never. Not now.

xoxo

The pace was almost rushed as the two of them walked through the white, colourless corridors towards Blair's room.

There was no one in her room now. Eleanor had just stepped out on their arrival. She knew.

Nate went first, followed by Chuck who almost couldn't bring himself to step through the threshold.

_… _Steps to his reality, _their _reality.

She lay there, broken and bruised. He wanted to believe that she was still his. Fixed and perfect. She wasn't, she was perfectly broken and he caused it.

Nate sat next to her bed in a chair and grasped at her hand gently, waiting for a response as her eyes slowly fluttered open.

She tried a weak smile and tried to squeeze his hand. He felt it.

When Nate's shiny eyes flickered across the room, she followed him, not wanting to know who was standing there.

She could feel him. Smell him. Want him…

Their eyes met and tears fell from her bruised, still perfect features. Uncontrolled.

She shook her head as his tears fell in unison with hers. He looked as broken as she felt. She wanted so badly to hold him…she just couldn't. She wouldn't allow herself.

"I ca-can't…" she struggled, looking at Nate for help.

Sobbing into her pillow. Nate knew.

"Please…" she begged weakly.

Nate gave Chuck a nod. Chuck knew.

He couldn't stay; he didn't hold it against her. He knew that. So he left, he left because it was the only thing he could possibly do to repay her for what he had done.

xoxo

When he was gone, she continued to cry into Nate who had clung onto her for more support.

The tears had seized and he spoke.

"He hates himself…he never stopped loving you…" Nate tried to explain.

"I-I never doubt-doubted his love…I doubted myself…" she struggled, only speaking above a whisper.

"Then why wouldn't you speak to him…let him stay?" Nate was confused.

"I'd…forgive him at glance and I-I couldn't…I love him too much to se-see him fall for another woman. So-so I ran…my heart had be-been ripped out of my chest…and..and I needed him bu-but…".

"What?" Nate prompted, stroking a stray hair out of her face.

"I'm scared tha-that it will hurt too much…too much this time…I have nothing left, to give…" was all she could say.

"Sshh…" Nate calmed as he soaked up her never ending stream of hurt.

Blair Waldorf cried herself to sleep that night, just as she had done many a night since her and Chuck had been apart. This time…the man drying her tears was the wrong man…

_Beep beep beep beep_

Tables turns…players lose and hearts always break.

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A/N: For me, this chapter was extremely vague, in the sense that I wanted to get as deep as I could to the root of her pain. We haven't quite got there yet but we will. To be honest, I wasn't sure what direction this was going in but by doing it this way, it opens it up for the next one to explore more deeply. I am not going to make it easy on Chuck, but like I said, these are building blocks. The Nate/Chuck/Blair interaction here was for _**sexgodhotness**_ so I hope that was ok and please…drop me a review and tell me what you all thought :) ta.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 5

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: I am giving you this chapter as a treat! I was not going to but I was convinced by _TriGemini_ *thanks by the way! ;)* But in order for you to give me something in return I would appreciate the following...i got 14 reveiws for my first chapter...so the numbers are not adding up..if you were late reading a chapter and only review the most recent..PLEASE go back and review them! I really love to hear what you thought about that chapter :D ... and now...Your responses have been amazing and as some of you may know, I am not going to make this bridge building easy, if any can be built. So this chapter is what it is in the respect of things that need to be resolved at the moment between Chuck and Blair. It will get easier but it will be bumpy, trust me! **Make You Feel My Love** & **When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne** are my chosen songs for this chapter, it is quite long and I couldn't choose just one so I chose 3! Tell me what you think :D

* * *

"_That's not true…you, are sacred to me…" _

"NO! NO!" Blair shouted as she shot up in bed from a nightmare. The same nightmare she had had every night since she had woken from the accident.

The words hadn't disappeared and her heart still hadn't healed. Maybe she didn't want it to, because that would mean forgetting the hurt, forgetting the fight, the passion, the pain.

"It's ok sweetie, was it another bad dream?" Blair's nurse said as she helped her drink some water.

She smiled weakly. She had been dosed up on morphine for the pain and still wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't.

The only thing she was sure of was that Chuck had come everyday to try and see her, talk to her but she had been resisting his attempts and had him escorted out of the building by either one of her family or the security guards.

She wanted nothing more than to let him in. Just to hold him once more. She was too exhausted from the pain, her heart and her injuries. She was empty.

She'd have good days and bad days. Days when she'd just scream and want the world to disappear and then days when she was just vacant.

The pain she felt when she moved, when she breathed. She wanted to blame him. Scream, shout, punch him and make him feel the guilt she felt. But she couldn't…she made it her fault the moment she let him go at the Saints and Sinner ball, believing fate would collide and they would find their way back. The moment her bones collided with the metal of the car. The moment she ran into the lights.

xoxo

Four days, five nights and a life time of guilt burned down Chuck's throat as he gulped back another scotch.

She didn't want him anywhere near her. Nate had told him to fight and she made the wall to big, the only way he could stop hurting her would be to stay away from her, stay away from her heart.

His phone rang again. There had been a stream of people wanting to pity him, still trying. Nate, Serena, Eric, Lily and even Rufus. What the fuck did they know?

Did they know how much it killed him to think he destroyed yet another person's life? Did they know he didn't feel like his life was worth living? Did they know he was dying inside, knowing what he had done?

There was only one person who could understand that pain. The only person who ever had, the only person who ever would. She was gone.

_Bang Bang_

"_Chuck? I know you're in there. You can't hide forever."_

"_This self destruction is doing no one any good. Don't be like this, please open the door" _

Nate and Serena tried from the other side of his bedroom door.

Trying to keep them out of his suite was difficult as there was an elevator so instead he had barricaded himself in his bedroom, stocked with enough scotch to last him as long as he needed.

The banging finally stopped and Chuck rolled his eyes, thankful for the noise to have seized.

"What are we gunna do? He hasn't come out of the room in two days, god knows how long he's going to last. I bet he stinks." Serena complained as her and Nate descended back into the elevator after an hour of cleaning up and trying to get him out of his room.

"Seriously? The only thing you can pick out here is that he's gunna stink?" Nate asked in disbelief.

"No…but that is a large factor…" Serena pondered as they reached the hotel lobby.

"We need to talk to Blair, it's our only hope", Nate concluded.

Serena shook her head in disagreement.

"No, I have a plan…" was the final conclusion as she pulled Nate out of the building and into Chuck's limo.

xoxo

"Hello Blair, how are you feeling today? How's the pain?" Dr Philips asked as he flipped through her chart.

"My chest hurts a lot when I breathe deeply and my leg stings", Blair replied, knitting her eye brows together from the slight pain of moving her arm.

"We'll try and give you some more pain relief, but in a few weeks or so the pain should start to decrease. As for your overall state, you were a very lucky girl Blair, it could have been much worse. You are lucky to be alive", he added making a few notes.

"Right, I will leave you in the capable hands of Beth and Blair, take it easy, not to much straining or excitement, you need your rest", he nodded with a smile as he left the room.

"Thank you…"

"That's fantastic isn't darling? You'll be healing in no time", Harold said as he kissed his daughter on the forehead and looked at her optimistically.

Harold had got the first flight out from Paris as soon as he heard what happened and he was planning on staying as long as his daughter needed. He just couldn't face not being near her when he nearly lost her.

"Uhuh…" Blair said as she sunk back into her pillow.

"Uhuh? That doesn't sound like Blair Waldorf fighting talk?..." Harold quizzed, becoming concerned about her.

"I'm fine really." Blair said abruptly wanting to get off the subject.

"Ok, darling, get some rest and I will be back later", he didn't want to push her but he knew the one person who was lingering in her mind, a certain gentleman who went by the name of Bass.

The room fell silent as he left her alone. To rest, she couldn't rest, she truly didn't know how to anymore.

She let a silent tear fall down her cheek as she turned her fragile, aching body to face the window looking out upon her kingdom. What used to be her kingdom.

Sometimes things do change, the tables always turn.

xoxo

The extra pain relief they had given her had made her extremely drowsy and she woke to someone tapping her lightly, knowing she must have fallen asleep staring into her world. It must have been the next morning because the sun was rising as she squinted to let her eyes adjust to the light streaming through the hospital blinds.

"Blair, there's someone here to see you. Shall I send them in?" Beth, her nurse said calmly with a comforting smile.

Blair immediately said no. shaking her head knowing without a doubt it would be Chuck. Well, she wanted to think it was him but in the last few days, his frequent visit and attempts to gain her attention had seized.

She'd like to think he was still fighting for her, but maybe things do change and maybe he does listen…

She didn't want him to.

"Are you sure? It's your friend Serena, I think she's called?" Beth doubled check, reading her unsure expression of who it may be.

"Yes…please", she corrected, shifting in her bed for a more accommodating position.

Serena walked in with her usual glow, dressed to the nines, holding a familiar box in her hands as she plopped onto the end of Blair's bed, placing the familiar box of macaroons on her bed side table.

"Hey B, how you feeling?"

"Like I've been hit by a car?" Blair said sarcastically.

"That's not funny", Serena announced.

"I never meant it as a joke."

"Tell me what's wrong."

"There is nothing wrong with me! Why do people keep asking me", Blair shot.

"Because it is written all over your face."

"Is it really that ugly? Because I thought I was the only one who noticed. I'm a mess. I look disgusting!" almost yelling, breaking her temper.

"Blair, you got hit by a car, you are bound to have a few scratches and bruises", Serena said confused.

Blair unconsciously felt her hand move to dry a stray tear when she felt it.

The cut covering her left cheek. She traced it with her dainty fingers; starting on her cheekbone and stretching nearly the full length of her once soft cheek.

"No wonder…" Blair whispered to herself.

Serena knew.

"This isn't just about your cut is it?"

Blair knew. She denied it.

"There's nothing else it could possibly be. Just leave it." She had to try and deny it.

"No! I'm not going to 'leave it'. Shutting it out isn't going help anyone!"

"Chuck has locked himself away and the self destruction has started. Your self destruction has started!" Serena yelled, wanting a rise from her best friend and knowing exactly how to get it.

"Good! _He_ left me Serena! _He _fell for someone else! _He _did it!"

"Didn't you say you wanted to make something of yourself before you could be together?"

"Yes! But I didn't want him to fall for the next person he saw. He told me that we were meant to be, that we'd find our way back! Well guess what? I'm lost!" She was holding back her tears as best as she could.

Serena didn't speak, she let Blair.

"Whe-when he told her she was sacred…I felt my chest sink. I had that sick feeling, the feeling you get when something terrible happens. My heart was breaking, I-I couldn't breathe!"

"It was all my fault. I should have never expected him to wait. I was a pathetic, naïve fool for believing he ever wanted me…"

"I loved him too much to see him fall for someone else. So I ran…away, I couldn't get him out of my mind and the-then everything went blank. And for the first time since I heard him say those words…I felt calm..."

She was too weak to hold the wall of tears and instead, let them run down her once perfect face, her now perfectly broken face.

That's when she heard it. The familiar voice from the doorway. Her heart started thumping rapidly and she was too scared to look…so she didn't.

"Is that what you really thought?...That I didn't want you?" Chuck made his presence aware as Serena left the room.

"Not for one second did I ever stop wanting you. I never stop loving you…"

She shook she head in her head to fight the words from getting to her.

"I thought-I thought I'd killed you…" he said honestly as the tears he could not longer afford to keep rolled down his complexion.

"You did…"

"I know…"

"When I saw you…when you ran and when you were outside… on the floor, my heart…my heart felt like it had been ripped out an-and I realised what I had done…"

"I don't expect you to forgive me…"

"I'm sorry…for ever believing we were worth something." She shot.

"We are! …I-I can't take back what I said to Rain-"

"DON'T SAY HER NAME!" she yelled.

He dropped his head, remembering the same words she had once used.

"Do you love her?"

He didn't answer.

"DO YOU LOVE HER?" she didn't want a silent confirmation. She didn't want confirmation at all; she just wanted to hear him say it.

"No…but I cared for her", he admitted, still not being able to make full eye contact with her. She wouldn't allow it. Not yet.

"Why?..."

Why did her care? Why did it happen? Why didn't he wait? She didn't know what she was asking, neither did he.

It would have so much simpler if he was in love with her. Maybe it wouldn't hurt as much, but maybe things don't change.

"It was a business deal… until you convinced her that I was worth her time…"

"I thought that after you made it, made something of yourself…you would never want someone like me. Someone who could destroy and hurt you so easily".

"It wasn't like that." She said sternly.

"How was it?"

"When I said I believed that we'd find out way back. I meant every word. But you…you ran off and fell for someone just as worthy, just as strong."

"I didn't fall for her!"

"You were allowing yourself…what difference does it make?"

"Everything! Everything is different! God dammit Blair, I am fighting for you. This is what you want isn't it? For me to be fighting for you, to claim you as mine! Like we've always done!"

"NO! I want you to want to fight! Not to do it just because I want you to!"

"I needed you to want to fight…not to be obliged…" the only moment she had made eye contact with him had gone and she could no longer look at him.

He moved across the room to her bed side where he got on his knees. Taking her face in his hands as she tried to struggle away. He wouldn't let her.

"Look at me. Look at me!"

She looked into his icy brown orbs, _her_ eyes.

"I am begging you…I am telling you I that I _want _to fight for you. I _need _to fight for you….because you need me just as much as I need you…"

She closed her eyes, letting the tears stain her not so perfect cheek.

"What if it's too much?..." she proclaimed quietly, not even wanting to say it.

He shook his head repeatedly, increasing his grip on her cheek.

"Don't say that. Please…I will fight…" he cried freely, for her to see and only her.

She raised her healthy hand and the one which had a cast on. Gently placing them on his hand, pulling them away from her not so perfect face.

Maybe that would be the last time she would touch him. The last time she would feel him, smell him.

Maybe things do change.

"Blair, please…" he begged, releasing his warm hand.

"I need you to leave…please…"

"I love you…" was the only protest he had as he walked away. Not wanting to cause her any more pain.

"I love you…" she whispered, not wanting him to hear it, but needing him to.

He heard.

When the door closed, she placed her hand against her not so perfect cheek and caught her final tear.

Maybe some things stay the same and maybe some things don't.

* * *

A/N: this was ok, I hope? Oh my...is that a review button I see? ;) thanks chums!


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 6

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: You guys! You are awesome with your lovely reviews so thank you a bunch! AND REMEBER..If you have forgotten to review every chapter...get to it! they are important so I know how each chapter was! **Salt Skin **& **Lights by Ellie Goulding** for this chapter. This chapter is mainly just moving on from what has happened and it involves Dan/Blair/Chuck… It isn't one of my best but I think it needed putting in...so off we go…

* * *

"_That's not true…you, are sacred to me…" _

What did those words even mean now…what did anything mean now?

It had been almost a week and a half since Blair's confrontation with Chuck. She'd cried the moment she told him to leave and every night since, knowing she had nothing more to give, at least for now.

She also hadn't spoken to Serena since or Nate for that matter. She was hurt that they had gone behind her back and got Chuck involved although it seemed apparent that he needed to know how she felt.

The frequency of visitors decreased, on occasion Eric and Lily would pop by with some magazines and her mother and Cyrus tried to visit as frequent as they could but Blair didn't really see the point. She had hardly spoken much, she had nothing to say. The only time she could get much out was when Dorota came with Anna; children were so much easier, simple.

Today was the day she was allowed out of hospital, back into the real world, it was too real. Although she hated being somewhere so clinical, the two and a half weeks she spent in the same room in the same hospital; she felt safe. Safer than she had in a while.

Beth has just finished checking Blair's dressings covering her ribs where she had broken two ribs causing a few lacerations to her chest.

Perfectly broken. She knew she wasn't perfect and she would never be the same again.

"You can pull your top back down now, I'm finished for the final time", Beth notified B as she took her gloves off and chucked them in the bin.

Dr Philips promptly walked in, smiling.

"Blair, how are you? Healing well I hope?" he asked optimistically.

"Much better thank you", she politely responded feeling a little more positive than she had all week.

"Well I have good new Blair…we are discharging you today but you will have to come in once or twice a week so we can check your leg and arm is healing properly…"

Blair nodded in understanding.

She had had an operation on her arm to put her bone back in position at her wrist and it was still going to be a while until her cast could be removed. As for her leg cast, she couldn't wait to get it off.

"How much longer do I have to keep my casts on for?" she asked.

"Your leg will be at least another three week, and as for your arm, that is all dependant on how fast it repairs itself. Again a guess would be three to four weeks…" he said with a shrug.

"Great!" she muttered sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, but I'm sure it will fly by", he added.

"I'm also guessing that I'm going to have to use…_that_?..." Blair asked as she pointed to the wheelchair next to her bed in disgust.

She had been using it to go around the hospital grounds for fresh air with Dorota and on occasion Harold who had now flown back to Paris on direction from Blair who insisted she would be fine.

"I'm afraid so…but the sooner your arm and leg heal, the sooner we can move you onto crutches and get you walking again".

"Thank you…" trying not to be too sarcastic this time, she didn't intend to be so rude.

"It has been a pleasure Blair and I will see you next week", he said before departing the room with his warm smile and wave.

The next thing Blair knew, Dorota was rushing through the door.

"We take Miss Blair home, yes?" she asked Beth as she rushed towards Blair.

"Yes!" Beth replied, laughing a little at Dorota's excitement.

Blair also couldn't resist and let out a giggle. It had been a while.

Beth helped Dorota get Blair off the bed and put her in the wheelchair before waving the pair off.

"Thank you Beth, you've been amazing", Blair complimented.

She had become fond of Beth throughout her stay; she had stayed with Blair when she was upset and always helped her to be positive. She was genuine; it was nice having someone so honest around her for a change.

"Take care hunny, it's been my pleasure", she responded before hugging her good bye.

xoxo

Chuck had kept his word and had left Blair when she asked. He hadn't tried to contact her or see her since and was just trying to carry on with his work. Trying to get Bass Industries back before Russell Thorpe could do more damage.

He had also stayed away from Raina, it wasn't hard since they had broken up and since she had been busy working with her Dad.

Chuck had just arrived back from the office and was about to take a sip of his well deserved scotch when the elevator signalled its arrival.

He had no idea who it was until Dan Humphrey stepped out walked towards were Chuck was stood next to the couch.

"I don't recall inviting you into my home…" Chuck accused as he kept his eyes glued on Dan who looked pissed.

"You didn't, I just had a few things I wanted to get off my chest." Dan said as he stepped closer to Chuck.

"Why would cabbage patch kid possibly want to get something off his chest…especially since my private life is none of his business?" Chuck asked.

"You made it my business when me and Blair overheard you and Raina."

Chuck rolled his eyes but let him continue.

"You should be ashamed of yourself. I've just been to see Blair and I've never seen her like that in the whole time I've known her", he added.

"Like what?"

"Weak. How can you live with yourself after what you did to her? First the hotel and Jenny... now this, what is wrong with you? Do you not have a conscience?"

"Since when did you start caring about Blair? She despises you." Chuck shot.

"Shows how much you know. Oh wait…that's why, you've been running after other women when Blair was waiting for you."

"Who the fuck do you think you are Humphrey? You have no idea what went on between me and Blair, so don't you dare come into my hotel and start shouting the odds when you're the clueless prick!"

"That's rich! I'm clueless! You're the one who has been hurting Blair and not even realising how much you've ruined and destroyed her!" Dan rejected as he pushed Chuck against the chest.

"Take your low rent existence and get the fuck out of my hotel before I call security!" Chuck almost shouted as he pushed back.

"With pleasure. You deserve this place, you're just a coward. Nothing more and nothing less." Dan announced as he was about to leave, when he saw a fist coming in his direction.

"Son of a-" Chuck went straight towards Dan, dropping his scotch in the process, letting the amber liquid seep out onto the floor.

"OW! Shit!" Dan moaned in pain as he felt the blood run down his nose.

Chuck shock his hand in pain from the impact.

"Get. Out."

Dan had outstayed his welcome and left before muttering profanities under his breath.

xoxo

"Miss Blair, Mr Dan to see you?" Dorota said as she tottered into Blair's room.

"Send him up", she replied as she moved her laptop off her lap and set it to the side of her on the bed.

Blair frowned as he entered the room, noticing the blue-purple coloration on his nose and eye.

"Can I ask why you are sporting a black eye Humphrey?" she asked as he walked closer to her bed and took a seat.

"Morning to you too…" he said sarcastically before continuing.

"I may or may not have stopped by Chuck's yesterday after I saw how upset you were…" he said quietly.

"What the hell for?" she shouted as she hit him around the head for his stupidity.

"I told you to stay out of it! What is wrong with you? I don't need your help." She said sternly with a scowl on her face.

"He can't get away with what he did to you Blair. He deserves to suffer and know exactly what he has done to you. And quite frankly Blair, you do need my help", he argued.

"Yes…I needed your help with my work and the interns but who the fuck do you think you are getting involved with mine and Chuck's business? He knows what he's done. You had no right!" she yelled.

"I care about you, I was only trying to help…" he admitted.

"I never asked you to care Dan. Leave me alone."

"Friends don't need to ask for help"

"We are not friends Dan! Get it into your head and leave! You are not welcome here." she yelled again, keeping her tears at bay. At least for now.

"Deny it all you want Blair, that's what your good at right?" was the last thing he said as he departed her room, feeling like an absolute tool as he walked away.

She couldn't even stop herself. It wasn't that she was crying over Dan Humphrey, she was crying over the fact that he was kinda right. She had perfected the art of denial a long time ago and the more her life went down hill, the more she used it as a weapon against herself.

As much as she needed her friends…the friends she had. She wouldn't forgive Serena or Nate so easily and no it seemed that she didn't even have Dan anymore. As much as she loved to deny they were friends…he was pretty good at it.

Sometimes things do change.

Tables always turn and hearts are always left broken.

* * *

A/N: How was that?I don't think this was my best chapter but I wanted a Chuck/Dan/Blair confrontation to get things out of the way... I think we needed a Dan/Chuck confrontation right? Tell me your thoughts! :D


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 7

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: OMGGGG! I have just watched 4x17 :O Chuck finally realising he needs Blair? FML! I was like RUN! And then Blair was there with Dan... :? WHY! RUN CHUCK RUN! I just hope that they stay friend...can't believe we have to wait ages to find out! ... You people are super duper at feedback! But the reviews have decreased :( If you didn't like the chapter so didn't review, still Review! I like feedback! apart from that...your awesome! Thank you sooo much for your ongoing support! I honestly didn't think this story would go this far and the response would be so amazing but you all made it worth it! …**Over My Head by The Fray **& **Your Biggest Mistake by Ellie Goulding **for this chapter chums! This is mainly Blair/Serena so here we go once again…

* * *

It felt like years since Blair had seen Serena or Nate. She had received endless amounts of calls and text and even a letter from Serena who begged for forgiveness and as much as Blair wanted to give in, she wanted to know she was strong and was able to fight like she used to.

Today was a new day. Today was a good day, mainly because it was the day she was allowed to get her leg cast off which meant she would no longer have to be pushed around like an invalid in the hideous wheelchair she had been using for the past few weeks.

Not a day went by when she didn't think about what had happened between her and Chuck. His confession lingered in her mind still. How could she have been so blind, he was Chuck Bass, she was Blair Waldorf.

"…_I am telling you I that I want to fight for you. I need to fight for you….because you need me just as much as I need you…" _

"…_I will fight…"_

How could he actually believe that she would move on, that he would actually let her do it. He had chased her for so long and he was now willing to give her up so easily…she didn't know whether to love him or hate him for it.

Love him for the fact that he would be so selfless if it didn't mean hurting her anymore, letting her be happy and live her life.

Hate him for being selfish and believing that's what she wanted and that I would actually make her happy; moving on so she could do the same.

The truth of it all was…she could never be truly happy without Chuck chasing, fighting and wanting her. What would be the point of being in love if there was nothing worth fighting for?

She would love to be in pure and simple love, no hurt, no drama…no sparks? As much as people wanted to believe that love was pure and simple, it is much more than that.

All is far in love and war. If it isn't worth fighting for…it's not worth keeping. Not a question, not a statement…a fact.

"Blair? Blair…" Dr Philips said, waving his hand in front of Blair's day dreaming face.

She shook her head and realised where she was; getting her leg cast removed at the hospital.

"Yes, sorry. What did you say?" Blair asked, snapping out of her thoughts.

"I said, I've finished removing your cast. Do you want to try and stand up for me?"

Blair smiled weakly, finally understanding where she was and what he wanted her to do.

She grabbed hold of the doctor's arm for support as he helped her stand for the first time in a month, without a cast.

"Are you feeling any discomfort or pain when you put your weight on it?" he asked.

"No, but it feels a bit wobbly…" she pondered as he helped her to sit back down.

"That's normal. Since you haven't used the muscles in your leg for a month, it will take time for the muscle to recover so you will need to start physiotherapy once a week and do some basic exercises, does that sound ok?" he replied happily.

"Perfect…and Oh my God!" She said genuinely as her eyes caught sight of her leg.

"What wrong Miss Blair?" Dorota spoke up from the corner of the room at Blair's outburst.

"I need to shave my leg. Bad! Ew, its disgusting", she moaned.

Dr Philips just laughed at the young girl while Dorota still looked concerned.

"We just need to do a final scan to check everything is good and then we will let you go", He finished as he made his final notes and arrangements for her scan.

xoxo

"Chuck! Hey wait!" Serena shouted as she ran after Chuck who was just walking towards his limo at the Empire.

She was hoping to see him and talk to him about Blair at the Empire but when he saw her, he made a quick exit towards his limo. But dammit, her legs caught him; it was to be expected really.

"I'm busy Serena. If you've come to pursued me to see Blair again, don't bother." Chuck shot as his sister with his usual unwelcome glare.

"I'm not. I actually wanted to know if you've spoken to her since…" she asked.

"What do you think? She's your best friend, shouldn't you know?" he replied, while edging towards the door of his limo.

"We haven't spoken for weeks. After we set you two up at the hospital, she's been ignoring both mine and Nate's calls and text…I really miss her and I know she needs me…us", she shrugged, letting the sadness of the situation seep into her features.

She felt awful for going behind Blair's back and making her talk out her issues but she couldn't help wonder if it helped. She missed being her support, missed not talking. Serena needed her just as much as Blair needed her…that's how it had always been.

"You know there is nothing I can do Serena, I'm sorry." Chuck finally replied as he was about to make his exit by getting in his limo.

"Chuck, please…" she was almost begging, not even sure if Chuck could do anything.

"You could ask Dorota? I don't know what you expect me to do…me and Blair are…you know…"

"Would you do it? She's always had a soft spot for you…" Serena asked sweetly, mentally slapping herself for not thinking of Dorota earlier.

"I don't have time for th-" Chuck was about to say when Serena shut the door in his face and began walking swiftly away from the limo.

xoxo

"Miss Blair, this the 3rd time you watch Tiffany's today. Miss Blair need fresh air, get walking!" Dorota chirped up as she entered Blair's room, finding her watching Breakfast At Tiffany's for the 3rd time that day.

"I've had enough fresh air on the way to the hospital. Thank you Dorota." Blair was dismissive with her hand and continued to stare at the tv although it was quite obvious she was paying no attention.

"Not question. Get up. We go to feed ducks", Dorota concluded as she proceeded to help Blair off the bed, which didn't go down without a fight.

"Please Dorota, I am exhausted!" She argued as Dorota's strength pulled her to her feet.

"No…'Pleeease Dorota, I exhausted'. You sleep thirteen hours last night, we feed ducks." And before Blair could protest, she was being hauled down towards the elevator.

xoxo

Serena had half expected Chuck to not help her but she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and retrieved it with curiosity.

_**Feeding ducks. 3pm**_

_**-C**_

Serena smiled at his effort. She knew he couldn't resist.

_**Thank you soo much!**_

_**And… don't wait too long.**_

_**-S**_

Chuck read her reply, knowing exactly what she meant. He knew.

xoxo

Blair was contently ripping pieces of bread from her loaf and chucking them to the ducks.

She felt calm; it was one of the only things that calmed her. She would come down to feed the ducks when she was sad, stressed and happy. Those little childish traditions would always stay with B, no matter how old she got.

"You were right…the ducks and the fresh air does calm me…" Blair directed blindly to Dorota who was supposed to be stood behind her.

"It always did…" a familiar voice that wasn't Dorota's spoke behind her.

She knew exactly who it was. She wanted to push them right in the lake. She wanted to rip their hair out and scream at them. She wouldn't.

"I said I had nothing more to say to you…" Blair shot in the vague hope that Serena would leave her alone.

"Maybe so…but we both know you need me. I need you B, I've missed you so much…" she said softly.

"That doesn't change anything. You went behind my back and got _him _involved." She shot, still not turning to face her best friend.

"You knew I had no choice. Two people I love were hurting and I wasn't going to step back and watch it happen", she defended her actions as best as she could.

"There is always a choice Serena!" she shouted with fury, finally turning to face her.

"Then why did you let him get away? You had a choice..." she asked quietly.

"I'm not doing this here. I didn't ask for this!" she snapped, limping her way past Serena and towards her town car.

Serena was nowhere near finished but she didn't follow her best friend, instead she went in search of a taxi in hope of following Blair home.

Blair had finally managed to limp her way to the town car. She didn't know whether she wanted to cry or just hit something. Both.

As she was about to slide into the car, she could feel someone watching her. She knew.

She looked around and found a familiar pair of eyes looking at her intently, next to a tree, hidden away.

She stilled her moments at the sight of _him._ She kept eye contact for a moment, staring at _him._

Blinking the tears that were forming in the corner of her eyes away, she looked away and got into the car.

She couldn't stop herself from looking back out of the car window, only to find the orbs she once saw, gone.

Blair knew Serena would be following her. Pushing him to the back of her mind, she made her way as quickly as possible up to her penthouse, hoping to not get stopped by Serena on her way.

xoxo

She thought she was safe until she exited the foyer to find Serena waiting patiently by one of the pillars in the living area.

"You're not welcome here."

"I live here and I am not leaving until you talk to me." She said sternly from her stance.

"I've spoken to you. Now leave."

"Properly"

"I have said all I need to say! What more do you want from me?" Blair exploded, letting her good arm flail in the air.

"I want you to understand why I did what I did", she responded, almost in a pleading tone, wanting her to understand why she did it.

"When you break a mirror, as much as you want to fix it, the cracks are still there Serena. You can't fix what happened!" she was now yelling.

"You are both the same! Self destruction, denial is what you do best. Well do you know what B; I'm done watching you both carry on like this."

"It isn't your choice! It never has been!"

"The only reason you were mad is because you know I was right to do what I did!"

"Were did you come up with that theory? Did it come from the same stash as when you decided to stick your big nose in my business?"

"You have just proven my point!"

"What point, Sherlock?" Blair fired sarcastically.

"You are doing it right now! Denying the truth, denying that you needed to speak to Chuck, that you need help!" she shouted back now.

"There was nothing to deny Serena…" she knew, she knew.

"You are denying the fact that no matter how hard you try to be this big, independent, strong headed woman, that you need him! You need me!"

"I don't! I am fine on my own; I can deal with my own problems."

"You may think you can do this alone, but let me tell you…I have known you all my life and if I have learnt anything, it's that everyone needs help. Blair Waldorf needs help." She saw Blair's expression drop.

"I'm not a charity case Serena; I am capable of fighting my own battles."

And the wall was back up within seconds.

"Fighting?" she asked in disbelief.

"You think moping around your penthouse watching Audrey is fighting?"

"I-I…" Blair was about to find the right words but Serena continued.

"Blair Waldorf does not give up fighting! Especially when Chuck Bass is involved."

"I haven't given up…I have just made a strategic retreat…"

"It's the same thing! And why did you make that choice Blair?" Serena asked accusingly.

"Because!" She shouted, tears threatening her. She didn't have a reason…

"That's just it Blair! You have no reason to stop fighting!"

"I do!" she was too weak to carry on the charade she had kept up for the past few weeks.

"What then? Tell me why!" Serena wanted to get through to her.

Because I-I…I love him..." She admitted, letting her weakness overtake her as they tears came uncontrolled.

"We are like poison, S…when we are together we hurt each other…" She could hardly stand up any longer. Instead she let herself fall to her feet next to the staircase; bringing her knees to her chest.

"And when you're apart, you destroy each other…" Serena told her as she took a seat next to her.

Blair had lost control a long time ago and know if was truly evident as the once strong Blair Waldorf broke down on her penthouse floor, sobbing for the love she lost.

"Can you honestly tell me that by not fighting, you'll be happy living without him?" Serena asked.

Blair was silent, that was confirmation enough.

"Then you can't give up. Not now. Stop running…"

"I…I don't know how anymore…"

"After all the shit he put you through, I'm not saying it's going to be easy forgiving him and I'm not saying it's going to be forgotten…but you have to at least try…"

"I'm not strong enough…I never have been…" Blair finally gave in and let herself fall into Serena's arms.

"You're Blair Waldorf…could you really live always thinking 'what if'? Knowing it could have been the biggest mistake you ever made?... Love isn't as simple as you think B…"

"I hadn't figured that!" Blair laughed lightly at her sarcasm.

"When you were chasing each other in high school, playing all your games…was it worth all the pain and hurt when he finally told you he loved you?" Serena asked.

"What has that got to do with anything?" Blair asked confused.

"Just answer the question", Serena demanded.

"Yes…It was worth every minute…" Blair announced as she realised what she had just admitted.

"Then why give up on something if it was worth fighting for in the beginning?" she asked simply.

"Because things have changed…we've grown up S, we are not kids anymore"

"But you are Chuck and Blair." Serena concluded, hoping Blair would figure the rest out.

Blair was speechless. For once, Serena could be right.

Serena didn't leave, Blair let her in. Let her tears out and all her fears. She felt pathetic, Blair Waldorf wasn't so perfect…anymore.

Maybe things do change.

Although the tables turn, the players always remain the same.

* * *

A/N: I really wanted to resolve things between Blair and Serena in the hope that B would understand her feeling better. Thanks for all your support peeps and please tell me what you think by dropping a review? Ta :D


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 8

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: Sorry this chapter wasn't as prompt as the rest. I will be updating less frequent, probably two to three times a week from no on because of my work load. As much as I love all the reviews I get…there has been a decrease and I am worried :/ If you are losing interest, TELL ME! And I can see what I can do…reviews are super important for authors so don't forget to review every chapter. And if you are losing interest, let me know so I can work on my chapters :) …..So this chapter is when the fight will begin hopefully and there is a slight twist…it's not going to be as simple as I planned…**Numb**** by Marina and The Diamonds **& **See You Go by 3OH!3 **...onward…

* * *

He remembered the last time he had held her, heard her murmur his name in her sleep, smelt her _his_ favourite perfume, kissed her _his _lips, run his hands through her _his _wavy chocolate locks…the last time he told her he loved her.

All the things he craved, he needed were so far out of reach and for once Chuck Bass had no idea how to get to them. He had buried himself in his work, his scotch and he finally had no more reasons to fight…but he would.

Although he didn't have her…he had her. She was the only reason keeping him hanging on to the fight.

He'd watched her like a stalker when she went for walks, went shopping, went for her weekly checkups. His heart would numb when he saw her limping down the street in and out of stores; her favourite stores. That's another thing that had changed about her…the Blair Waldorf he used to know would never come out of a shop empty handed. Ever. She was so far away from the woman he used to know, the woman he loves.

"Dude? Are you even listening to me?" Nate snapped at his best friend who was staring blankly out of the huge glass window in their suite.

"Did you say something Nathaniel?" Chuck was taken a back by his sudden address.

"I will take that as a no then…" He offered as he walked towards him at the window.

"Have you tried talking to her?" Nate asked calmly.

"Why do you keep coming out with this shit Nathaniel?" Chuck asked in disbelief.

"I only asked, jeez!"

"Why would I have spoken to Blair? For one, she told me to leave her alone and two…well she is better without me harassing her every chance I get." Chuck denied the fact he was still fighting. At this moment in time, it didn't look like he was fighting for her but…he was biding his time.

"I never thought I'd see the day…" Nate trailed of as he walked towards the bar, pouring himself a drink.

"What?" Chuck demanded.

"When you stopped chasing Blair…stopped keeping tabs on her…fighting even…" he tried as subtly as possible.

"She asked me to stay away." He explained…or tried.

"Since when has that ever stopped you? I thought Chuck Bass did whatever he liked, when he liked?..."

"Circumstances change…people change…"

"Oh really, so that wasn't you who Serena saw the other day watching her and Blair in the park?" Nate accused, knowingly.

"That was merely coincidence Nathaniel…we both live in the same city; we are bound to bump into each other on occasion." He denied, knowing his best friend wasn't quite that stupid.

Nate shook his head and began laughing.

"What do you find so amusing?" Chuck asked, confused at Nate's sudden outburst.

"Here's me thinking you gave up on fighting for Blair, when in reality…you're doing the complete opposite!" Nate said surprised by his own knowledge.

"It seems Chuck Bass is still in there somewhere…" Nate suggested as he walked out of the room.

Chuck knew. Nate knew.

If only the chase was that simple. He knew what had to be done and how. But this time, the stakes were higher and the game was risky.

Maybe things do change.

xoxo

Serena had finally dragged Blair from her penthouse in search of some good retail therapy. Unfortunately for S, she regretted the moment she let B loose in Manhattan. She had truly forgotten what it was like to shop til you drop.

"B can we please stop for one second? Or maybe grab a bite to eat? My feet hurt and I'm starving!" Serena moaned as Blair dragged her out of Chloe.

"S, you were the one who convinced me to participate in this therapy session…so I suggest yo-" Blair began, before she spotted something she never expected to see.

"Before I what? B…what are you looking a-" Serena followed Blair gaze until her eyes landed upon a very familiar prince.

"Are you seeing what I am seeing?" Blair checked with Serena who was now speechless.

"Uhuh…" Serena trailed off.

"Blair…what about Chuck?...why are you grinning like that?" Serena warned.

"I should say hi…I'm going to say hi!", Blair steps started to hurry as she rushed towards the prince who had just seen exciting a shop.

"Blair! Wait!" Serena tried but it was too late.

Serena shook her head nervously and continued to where Blair was standing, exchanging re-acquaintances with the prince.

"Louis, you remember Serena right?" Blair offered as she received a look of warning from Serena.

"Of course… ça va Serena?" Louis asked politely as he kissed her hand.

"I'm great, thank you. How are you and what are you doing in New York?" Serena asked, trying not to be too forward as Blair gave her a disapproving look.

"I am terrific thank you, Serena. Oh and I had some important business to attend, but I truthfully wanted to see the city again", Louis answered politely smiling in the girls' direction.

"We should do lunch?" Blair blurted out.

"What a wonderful idea, but how about dinner? I would love to catch up", he suggested in very gentleman like.

"A catch up sounds great"

"Shall I send a car for you at eight?" Louis asked.

"Perfect!" Blair said, ignoring the slightly unsubtle looks Serena was exchanging with her best friend.

"Unfortunately I have to run. Serena, it was nice to see you. Blair, I look forward to seeing you this evening", he concluded as he gave both Blair and Serena a polite peck on the cheek.

"Looking forward to it!" Blair shouted after him as he ducked into his town car.

As soon as the car pulled away from the curb, Serena shot a look of disbelief in Blair's direction.

"What the hell was that?" Serena aired, flailing her arms in the air to make a point.

"What ever would you be referring to?" Blair asked innocently.

"The fact that you just made dinner plans with a man you once were romantically involved with…kinda…when you are supposed to be fighting for Chuck?" she shot.

"It's called being polite Serena…maybe you've not heard of it. And as for Chuck, I had a change of heart." Blair didn't say anymore, instead she begun walking down the side walk towards another shop. Only this time, she left the shop with a dress for the evening.

xoxo

"Hey man, have you seen the latest blast on gossip girl?" Nate asked in a rushed tone as he stepped of the elevator at the Empire.

"I'm surprised you still subscribe Nathaniel…" Chuck retorted casually.

"Like you never stopped!" Nate accused as he walked closer to his best friend.

Chuck just shrugged his shoulders and continued to glare on of the large window. It was as if he hadn't moved since Nate left that morning. As if he had just glared out of the window watching over the city. _Her _city.

"So what are you planning to do? Just let her prance around New York with the Prince on her arm?" Nate asked curiously.

Chuck gripped his phone in his pocket. He wished he had never set his eyes on the blast. Jealous was brewing inside him; just the thought of another man touching her, flirting with her. It turned his stomach and all the more knowing he had no right to feel that way, but he would never stop.

He knew.

He knew exactly what she was doing…creating a 'distraction', while making him burn for her. Need her. He knew how she worked and he couldn't help himself. He was feeding right into her hand and he didn't care. His desire was too much and he his need was unbearable. He would _always _have a weak spot when it came to Blair Waldorf and when she set the bait…he was _always_ too vulnerable to resist.

"I wouldn't worry yourself Nathaniel…" was Chuck's only answer.

Nate knew exactly how Chuck worked and he knew exactly what he was doing.

Maybe people don't change. Tables always turn and maybe, just maybe…hearts can be mended…

* * *

A/N: Oooh! You will have to wait til my next update to see what Chuck does. As I said, it is Chuck's turn to fight. Blair has done enough; he will be taking the reins from no on so we will see where it goes! :D Please leave me a wonderful review :)


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 9

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: I think you have all waited long enough! More Chair for you reading pleasure! Thanks for all your on going support and all the joy you have brought me from your reviews! :D makes me so happy! **Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden **&** Paperweight by Schuyler Fisk**…here it is…

* * *

Louis was very prompt and arrived at the Waldorf penthouse bang on eight. He was greeted by Dorota in the foyer while he waited for Blair to descend down the grand staircase.

When the moment finally came, he did a double take and finally noticed Blair's eloquent limp and very obviously her arm in a white cast.

"Tu es superbe, Blair." Louis complimented as he greeted her at the bottom of the stairs with a kiss on the back of her hand, like he had always done.

"Merci", Blair smiled politely, accepting his arm as she looped hers through his.

"Blair?" Louis asked, just above a whisper.

"Yes?"

"If you don't mind me being to forward…why are you hurt?"

"What ever do you mean?" Blair had forgotten about what weighed her down every morning.

The aching in her weak leg and the mass pushing down on her arm, the aching and pain that burdened her heart down every minute of everyday.

She was about to deny that she was hurting, emotionally. But then she realised what he was referring to as he glanced at her arm covered in a perfect white cast; only slightly covered by her jacket.

"Oh, you mean my arm?" She waited for confirmation before she continued, just in case he could read her, what she was thinking…but then again, there was only one man who could do that.

He nodded, waiting for her to explain.

By this point, the two of them were stood still next to the open elevator.

"I was in an accident…" Blair said too quietly for anyone else to hear but him.

She didn't really want to hear it herself. She had blanked out the memory as much as she could for the past few weeks and never once had she spoken about what actually happen.

"I-I…I ran out into the road and a car…" She couldn't bring herself to say the words aloud.

"Oh my god Blair, are you ok? How did it happen?" He looked panicked, almost like he might cry but he wouldn't.

"I'm fine, just _this_ and some scratches and bruises…" she referred to her arm and she waved it slightly.

She had wished he hadn't asked how it happened, she didn't want to know herself, she didn't want to believe it.

He sensed a change in her mood and waited for her response.

"We're going to be late if we don't get moving!" Blair quickly changed subjects, pulling him into the elevator after her.

xoxo

He watched them from a far; watching her every move. He could read her like no other.

The way she messed with her food, the way she repeatedly brought her curls forward to cover her _his_ nape. He smiled at the sentiment; that had only been his; no one else could have that or attempt to obtain it, she wouldn't allow it and neither would he.

She knew he was there, waiting and watching.

He knew. He knew what she was expecting but he wasn't about to give her the satisfaction, instead he would wait and observe…making his move when the time was right.

He watched in amusement as their drinks arrived at their table.

"Red wine for the gentleman and Martini for the lady…" the waiter offered, placing the drinks at their table.

Blair felt his eyes burning her skin from a distance.

"Actually I ordered a white wine." Blair corrected, politely knowing exactly what he was up to.

"Of course, I will see to it immediately. Sorry for the misunderstanding Miss Waldorf", the waiter said as he left the table, leaving the Martini behind.

"That was strange", Louis stated, looking slightly confused that such a high class establishment could make such a standard error.

"Weird!" Blair chirped up with a smile.

He watched her as she glance around the restaurant looking for sign of him, but he was far too devious to let her win just yet.

xoxo

The rest of the meal had gone smoothly, well as best it could have gone. Aside from the 'confusion' with Blair's main course which had been sent wrongly; instead of the salad she had ordered, she was met with her favourite main course that Chuck would always order for her, everything had gone ok, she did her best to flirt with the prince and she exaggerated her laughter knowing he was watching.

"That's so funny! You're too kind Louis", Blair exaggerated as she partook in light conversation at her table.

"Blair, if you don't mind me saying…you seem different from the last time we met", he pondered, trying to keep her eye contact but she would just not allow it.

"In what way?" She asked politely, as if the question hadn't fazed her.

"Like there is something on your mind…I remember you always to be so, so passionate and certain of yourself…" he added as lightly as he could.

"I'm the same as I was before…in fact I am happier than I have ever been!" She added, slightly louder than necessary. She pitied herself just knowing he didn't believe a single word…she didn't either.

Just as he was about to add to her response, the waiter came over to the table.

"Miss Waldorf, you have a phone call."

"Excuse me", she directed her gaze at Louis who nodded and smiled.

She knew she shouldn't but she wanted to hear his voice, his tone. It made her feel nervous. Closer to him.

"Hello…" she asked innocently on the phone.

"_Stop pretending." _His voice echoed on the other end of the line. She could tell he wasn't far.

"Stalk me much? I told you to leave me alone." She snapped.

"_Why lie? The only person it hurts is yourself", _he announced, like he was reading her mind. He was.

"You'd know about hurting people wouldn't you?" she retorted.

"_That was then…" _his voice wavered; she knew she had hit a nerve, but continued regardless.

"Really? Why are you still trying to do it then?"

"_Because you need me to…"_

"I don't need anything from you, only that you leave me alone". She lied.

"_I need you…" _he admitted.

Something in her chest swelled, some may say it was her heart, but she_ tried_ to suppress it.

"Why are you doing this?" she almost whispered, in the corner of the reception area where she was taking the phone call.

She had no idea why the conversation had gone on this long, but she just couldn't bring herself to hang up and end his voice.

"_You know why." _

"Tell me." She demanded.

"Give me a reason to listen to you."

There was a prolonged silence. At one time it would have been too long but she waited, clutching at straws.

"_Because I love you…" _his voice gasped as he disclosed what she had wanted to hear.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to slap him, rip at is hair, yell…touch, hold him.

"I-I…" She didn't know how to respond. She wanted with all her heart and body to say that she needed him to. She did, but she couldn't risk her heart.

Before she could allow words to form on her lips, he spoke.

"_I will not stop fighting…not til the day I die…" _he announced and the line went dead.

She let a single tear slip from her not so perfectly made up eyes. She turned to see the Prince looking at her from their table.

She gestured that she was going to leave, smiling weakly as she was about to collect her coat.

He came towards her looking concerned.

"Blair, what has happened, are you ok?" he placed a hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off.

"I'm sorry…I don't feel so well, do you mind if I leave?" She lied. Again.

"Yes of course…but are you sure something hasn't happened?" he searched for more answers but he would never receive any.

"Positive. I have to go."

And before he could protest she was out of the door and straight into the waiting car.

"Waldorf Penthouse. Now!" She shouted at the driver and she bit her bottom lip, trying not to let the hurt escape her lips.

xoxo

The moment he had spoke to her, the moment he had hung up, he hated himself.

He thought he was doing the right thing by fighting for her, but then she would ask him why and protest against his aim and he would feel guilt brewing in his stomach.

He would always be hurting her no matter what he did. Why couldn't love just be simple? He would never allow it to be, she wouldn't.

He threw his phone in rage across the limo until it hit the driver's window division.

"Fuck!"

xoxo

As soon as she arrived at the penthouse, she moved as swiftly across the marble floors to the stairs and limped her way to her room.

When she finally entered the _safety _of her room, she released her pent up frustration and screamed until she felt the tears trail down her cheeks.

She dropped her purse to the floor and started pulling at her dress until she was stood in the middle of her lonely room wearing nothing but her underwear.

She fell to the floor fumbling in her purse for her phone. She retrieved it and typed a rushed text to _Serena._

_**S, I**__** really need you.**_

_**-B**_

She typed without out concentration. She couldn't get her mind off Chuck, off what he had said, off what she was doing with the Prince. Green never did suit Chuck.

xoxo

Chuck's head was dropped into his hands when he heard the beeping of his phone from the other end of the limo.

He moved closer and grabbed the device, expecting it to be work.

He opened it and it was something he never expected. Luck.

Blair had sent the text to the wrong person. He froze and seeing what was written in front of him. It was like a signal; he didn't believe in coincidence and but he did believe in fate.

That was all he needed, just those words of truth she would never admit to him in their current situation.

"Arthur, Waldorf Penthouse, now." Chuck shouted at his driver as he clutched his phone in his palm.

There is always a hidden truth and always hidden lies. Maybe people don't change, but tables always turn.

* * *

A/N: I didn't particularly want to Prince too involved with this so I just added him a little. More things will become resolved in the next chapter so if you want it…review and I may consider updating soon! :D ta chums!


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 10

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: The responses have been FANTASTIC! You guys are amazing! I was smiling at every review and I am so happy you liked it. So let's get down to business shall we…**I'm Scared by Duffy **&** Take It All**& **Your Song by Ellie Goulding** for this chapter please as it is a long one…I did 3 re-drafts of this because I wanted to get it just right so tell me what you think and…here we go…

* * *

He almost ran to the elevator, ran to her room but he couldn't. He savoured the memory of what it used to be like; walking to pick her up, walking to be with her. He had no idea what would happen when he got there but for now all he could do was hope.

He wasn't greeted by the loyal maid on arrival, for which he was thankful and instead he started on the stairs; one at a time.

One. Two. Three. Four…

Each disappeared as he finally reached the familiar door, he placed his hand on the handle and waited for a moment, not knowing what he was about to walk into.

He opened the door with caution and what his eyes were met with was nothing he ever wanted to see. She was broken. Curled up in the foetal position on the floor in nothing but her underwear and her cast, silver trails of her hurt down her cheek with the remnants of her once perfect makeup.

She had her eyes closed and it looked as if she was sleeping until her eyes started to flicker open, feeling the unwelcome presence in her room.

Realising that he was there, she scuttled to her feet the best she could and backed away from him, trying her best to wipe away her smudged tears and makeup.

She didn't care about her current clad. She didn't care about anything really...only about him and even that was getting too painful to bear.

"Why are you here?" she almost stuttered, unsure of what to do.

He didn't speak; instead he threw his phone onto her bed so she could see the text that had been sent.

She mentally slapped herself for being so careless, but something inside her made her feel slightly relieved that he was there. That he cared enough to come for her.

"You have no right." She protested as she noted he was advancing towards her.

"I have every right."

"I don't need you…" more lies.

"I'm not leaving…" he said sternly, stepping closer until her was almost a breath away.

"Please…" she whispered.

"Stop."

She shook her head in denial, before she could control her movement she had slapped him across the face and stepped back until her back hit the wall.

"I don't want you here!"

"Blair…" he ignored the stinging pain and stepped closer.

She couldn't deny anything as her tears left her. She yelled as she continued to punch him in the chest, kicking her extremely weak legs, pushing with all the energy she had.

He let her, thump, punch, scratch and claw her anger against him. When she pushed, he pushed and pulled back with twice as much force. He always would.

"Yo-You have no right!" she screamed. "You broke us!"

"Blair…stop…" he said calmly and he managed to grab her wrists and restrain her from hurting herself and him further.

"I-I didn't ask for this…" she became to weak to fight any longer and instead, crumbled into his arms.

"I-I...I can't..." she gave in as he embraced her and picked her off her feet, light as a feather; allowing her to bury her face into his chest.

He placed her down on her bed easily and laid next to her, wrapped his strong arms around her waist until she was tucked tightly against him, with her face against his chest. She didn't fight any longer. She didn't have any strength to fight the truth.

The truth that she would always be safe in his arms. At least for a little while.

The feeling of her hiccups and tears drenching his shirt left him breathless. He held his breath as he increased his grip on her and let his tears fall against her perfect curls.

He kissed her forehead every so often until her sniffles started to disappear and he felt her breathing even. He would never forgive himself for the guilt he felt, just holding her and wiping away her pain...the pain he caused.

He fell into a deep slumber holding her tightly wishing he had never caused her this pain.

xoxo

They woke the next morning, too early, the sun only just rising into the orange sky.

Blair felt the too familiar warmth next to her and felt his heart beat. She didn't want to move an inch, she wanted to stay right where she was and not face the harsh reality that love and life wasn't as simple as this.

His grasp was still tight around her body, just as it should. He kissed her forehead, sensing her movement, waiting for her to react.

It was time.

She slowly pulled herself out of his arms until she was able to sit upright.

He looked at her solemnly and waited for her to speak.

She wanted to cry again, just the way he looked at her. As she was the only person that mattered; maybe she was, to him. She would like to believe she was.

"You shouldn't have come…" she proclaimed, not making eye contact.

"Maybe I shouldn't have…" he admitted.

"Why then?"

"Because when I make a promise I never break it."

"I didn't ask you to fight"

"Exactly"

"That text..." she began.

"Proof." He interrupted, giving her the answer to her pending lie.

"Of?" She wanted to hear him say it; she didn't believe it herself.

"That not matter how much you hide from yourself and from me...we will always need each other." Simple and to the point. The truth.

Honesty. What else was there left?

"I agreed to have dinner with him to make you jealous. I wanted you to hurt just as much as I do."

"It didn't work though?" he asked, knowing that no jealousy or pain could amount to how he had hurt her.

She shook her head.

"We're poison…" she told him, making eye contact for the first time that morning, it wasn't a lie.

"We always have been…and shall I tell you why?" he agreed.

She nodded yet again.

"Because of me." He took every ounce of blame that lingered in that room.

She wanted to let him have it but it wasn't true. She was just as much to blame as he was.

Before she knew how to react, she felt the tears threaten down her cheek bones, dripping onto her bare arm.

"No."

"How can you say that?" he asked in disbelief.

"I have done nothing but hurt you. I did it physically and emotionally. I love you so much that I was willing to hurt you… I'm a coward for ever allowing that to happen."

"The car was my fault…I-I was stupid…"

"When I'm without you I am empty and I have no way to comprehend why… and how to carry on…" she was reduced to more tears.

"And…and when I'm with you…we hurt each other and we destroy what we have…" she added.

"I'm a coward for wanting to fight for you, because I know I can never make you happy… with or without you, I will always hurt you…" he explained, moving so he was sat directly in front of her.

She shook her head in protest.

"You're a coward for believing that…"

"How?"

"Why do you allow me to push and pull you until we have nothing left? If you honestly told me to stop fighting, to stop chasing you, I would…"

"I have!" she shouted, pushing him away, but he stabled her movement, scared that she would fall off the bed.

"No…that's what you wanted me to believe…but if you can't believe it yourself how am I supposed to?"

"Because you…you know me better than I know myself…"

He shook his head, holding her shoulder in his hands.

"For a moment…just a second, I believed I wanted you to stop…the moment I heard you tell _her_…"

"I didn't love her…" he protested, shaking her slightly.

"So why?..." she trailed, not even the tears would stop.

She promised herself to never let a man make her cry…he wasn't any man.

"I-I was scared…"

"Of what? Me?"

"Us! That...that you wouldn't need me..." he looked away in shame. What shame did he have left, she knew everything.

"That...when you made something of yourself, you wouldn't need me...want me..."

"I promised you! I believed you!" She shouted, standing up from her bed, putting most of her weight on her good leg and steadying herself with her drawers.

"I doubted fate…I doubted that your love would waver for me and you would want better!" he snapped back in defense.

"When…when I saw you run and you were…laid so broken…" he stop containing himself and let his pain seep through his wet orbs.

"M-my Blair…broken and it was all my doing…I felt sick…"

"I-I may as well have pushed you in front of the car…" his guilt would no longer hide.

"How could you ever think I wouldn't need you!" she wanted to throw something.

"Because you have always deserved better...I was never worthy." he admitted.

Worthiness. The words that would always linger in his Father's memory. As long as he lives, he had always been looking for acceptance, to just be worthy of something.

"I wanted to kill myself…to make all the pain I had caused go away. I even went to the roof of the hospital when I thought you were dead…"

She gasped at the thought of him standing there so lonely, ready to give away his life for the pain.

She felt herself move to him. She wanted to hold him but her movements were stilled.

She had to ask.

"How could you think of doing that to me? I thought you loved me?" she whimpered at the thought.

He shrugged, shaking his head and continued to cry.

She nodded at him understanding what he was trying to say.

She moved closed to him, at the other end of her bed.

"You become worthy the night you saw the real me...the day you proved your loyalty and friendship...the day you told me you loved me. Why isn't that enough?"

"It is! You were always enough...that was enough...I wasn't..."

"Just stop!" she shouted.

"I am not you father. I am me and you are you. God dammit Chuck! You were all I ever wanted! All I ever needed! You are worthy because you love me..." she vowed, letting more tears fall from her not so perfect features.

There were no words to defend himself. He had been searching and pushing to be worthy, to believe that they would find there way back...but he couldn't bare the chance of disappointment, the chance that they would be lost.

His thoughts were interrupted by her sniffles. His eyes met hers, deep and pleading.

"Would you be happy living the rest of your life without me, if you thought I would be happy without you?" she asked.

He thought about what she had said.

He shook his head.

"I could never be happy without you…but I would do it. To make you happy…"

"Ask me." She demanded from her spot.

"What?" he knew, but then again, he didn't.

"Ask me if I would be happy without you."

He complied.

"Would you be happy living without me?" at this point, he hoped that she would say yes, it would make losing her so much easier.

"No." he sighed, not wanting her to say it, but needing her to say it.

"I would live everyday of my life regretting the day I asked you to stop fighting for me…." The only simple answer. The truth.

"You know I can't." he explained as he stepped closer and placed both his hands on her cheek and wiped the stray tears away. He looked her directly in the eye, straight into her thoughts and her soul.

What was it? That he couldn't fight for her? Couldn't stop fighting? Couldn't live?...

"I will hurt you again and I can't risk the heart ache…risk _your_ heart ache."

"It's not your choice." She said sternly.

He didn't protest, instead he let her speak.

"I can't live without you Chuck…I just…can't…"

"It will kill me…" she closed her eyes as she let another tears slip.

"No…you'll find someone else…someone who is never going to hurt you again…" he didn't know whether he was trying to convince himself or her.

"You're hurting me now…"

"Please…" his arms dropped to his side.

xoxo

Their eye contact wavered and he moved away from her, towards her window overlooking the city. Every bone in his body wanted to run to her, fight for this, but he couldn't let himself destroy her, not this time.

"No! Do you want me to be happy?" she almost yelled the words.

"Yes…you know I want nothing else…"

A sigh of relief swept over her weak body, she would always fight for him and he would always do the same for her.

"Then love me…" she commanded.

She had walked closer without his realization and was now standing behind him. She wanted nothing more than to place her hands on his back; just to make sure he was there, make sure she wasn't dreaming.

"I do! You're the only one I have ever…but-" He turned around to meet her gaze directly in front of him.

"Stop." She interrupted as she grabbed his face this time.

Looking deep into his eyes, she saw the vulnerable little boy she used to know; the boy who she saw the day of his father's funeral, the boy who loved her but was too scared to let anyone in.

"I _need_ you to promise me."

"It's not that simple..." he mustered.

"I am making it simple. Promise me."

He couldn't bear to look into her pleading eyes. The pain and devastation that lingered before him was what he had caused and he would do anything to take it all away in an instant.

"Anything..." he murmured.

"Love me…and never let me forget it. Never let me go…fight…" she searched in his eyes for confirmation but she waited.

"You know I ca-"

"I'm not asking. I'm not saying I have forgiven you for what has happened…I haven't forgiven myself but I need us to try..."

"Please…tell me honestly, would be happy waking up every morning, thinking 'what if' and knowing we didn't even try…because I couldn't Chuck…it would kill me…" she begged and he could see the desperation of hope in her eyes.

"Don't say that." He shot at her remark, he couldn't bear to live without her, it wouldn't be his life.

"It's the truth…without you in my life, I wouldn't be alive. It's like I can't breathe when your not there…it wouldn't be my life without you in it…"

He waited, she waited for the response she so desperately needed.

"Please…I need you to fight…" she let the tears like pearls fall from her face, clutching at whatever fight she had left.

That look was all he needed. The reassurance and need in her eyes was all he needed. Just her, nothing more and nothing less.

"I-I…I promise…" he claimed and he nodded for extra support.

"But…what if I hurt you? I know I will…" His self doubt would never disappear.

"Not this time. Do you trust me?" She sniffled.

He nodded.

"Always…"

That was all she needed for now. For the first time in months she felt safe, truly safe and protected.

He lips crashed against his, firmly but still soft and slow. She relished the familiarity of safety against him.

He pulled her against him as he pushed their lips together passionately but slowly, savouring every ounce of their being.

Chuck pulled back to look at her.

"I'm sorry…" he let his final tears depart, mixing with hers as she kissed him desperately.

She broke the kiss.

"I love you so much…"

"I love you…" he replicated.

"Don't ever let me go." She claimed, holding his face a breath away, their lips almost touching.

"Never."

"I trust you…"

He knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn't allow himself to make her vulnerable again. She knew. But at that moment, this is all they had...all they had ever had...each other.

He claimed her lips with his as he picked her petit frame up into his sturdy arms, placing her on the bed.

He hovered over her perfect body. He would always fix her no matter how much she fought. She was _his_ perfectly broken and he was hers.

She looked him deep into his almost black orbs; she smiled when she saw _him. _She had missed him so much she could not understand how to form it into words.

Chuck smiled. For the first time in months, it was there, right in front of him…safe in _his_ arms.

She pulled her arms up from his shoulders and placed them on his strong jaw line, stroking them will her thumbs.

"Make love to me…" was all that needed to be said as he crashed his lips against hers.

He did as she had requested. It was perfectly broken. He pulled at her underwear as she struggled with his shirt.

When their tasks had been successful, he continued to trail soft, wet kisses along every inch of her _his_ body, making sure there was no surface untouched.

He settled between her firm thighs, he perfect fit as it had always been. He entered her painfully slow as they moaned in unison. It had been far too long since they had been connected; since they had made pure, simple love.

He set a slow rhythm, savouring every minute, every movement and every breath that escaped their lips.

She didn't resist, she was thankful for every moment they shared, every breath and every stroke they took.

She would never love any other, she was tainted and she didn't even care; she was safe…happy, even if it was just for a moment.

He would never be able to forgive himself for doubting her love or what they had…but he had now…he was home.

Tables always turn; lives are emptied until something, someone comes along and fills them back up. Maybe, just maybe hearts can be fixed and lives can be lived.

* * *

A/N: I know things have shifted dramatically here and that the transition was pretty quick but we are not done yet! THIS IS NOT THE END! I have more kinks to work out and there will be more angst to get through but tell me what you think :D


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 11

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: What happened to the reviews this week guys? Was chapter 10 really that bab? I spent ages getting that perfect **:'( **Please make sure you review every chapter…**go back and review chapter 10!** …..So we all knew there had to be more angst right? There are a lot of unresolved issues between them so here is the first chapter leading up to rebuilding their relationship. **Glitter In The Air by Pink **& **Who You Are** **by Jessie J**...here we go...**  
**

* * *

She felt the warmth, smelt the scent and relished in the feeling of security and familiarly as he lay next to her, his arms wrapped tightly around her form, where they should be and will always be?

He didn't move, he knew she was awake too but he wanted to savour every moment like this he could. Before things got to deep or he hurt her again, he wanted to allow them time just be with each other, as simple as their relationship could possibly get.

"Chuck?..." Blair murmured calmly as she turned around in his arms, just wanting to see his face, to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

He was there, smiling contently as he yawned. It could possibly have been one of the cutest moments she had ever shared with _her _Chuck Bass.

"Hey…" he responded as he came back down from his yawn, wrinkling his nose a little.

"Did something tire you out?" she asked seductively, stroking his bare chest with her perfectly manicured finger.

She couldn't resist teasing him. It had been so long and his pleasantly welcome yawn was the perfect invitation.

"Someone to be specific…" he said huskily as he moved closer so their lips were almost touching, his nose brushing hers delicately.

"Oh…someone I know?..." she asked innocently, resisting his lips as she kept his gaze.

"The woman I am madly in love with… is responsible for tiring me out…" he complied, waiting for her response.

"Damn, she must be good…tiring Chuck Bass out…now that's an achievement", she replied playfully, surprised.

"The one and only who ever managed to achieve such a task…and did I forget to mention how much of a minx she is…"

She felt her cheeks starting the blush a beautiful pink. She had no idea how just one person could cause such an effect...love was too complicated for even Blair Waldorf to understand.

The way her cheeks dimpled and went rosy red made him tingle. Butterflies were the only possible answer. There were no other words than the ones on his lips at that very moment.

"You take my breath away…"

Fireworks. fear. love.

His words made her want to cry. She felt the strange welling in her throat, the welling in her chest, the love in their eyes.

Before he could continue, he was stopped by Blair's lips finally connecting with his own.

She needed to feel his touch, his security. She found it in his soft lips as they fit so perfectly next to hers, just as they always had, totally in sync. Always will…

That. Scared the shit out of her...it always had and always would as long as she lived. Apart or together, she would always be scared of the risk, the danger...the acceptance.

As he was about to deepen the kiss further and tighten his grasp on her waist, she pulled away and before he could protest, she had disappeared into the bathroom.

Left alone in bed, Chuck Bass was confused and unpleasantly surprised by Blair's sudden departure.

xoxo

When she didn't return after about five minutes, he became curious and proceeded out of bed, pulling his silk boxers over his hips and then towards the bathroom.

The first thing he noticed as he approached the door was that the shower was running, but as he went closer, he could hear the distinctive sound of her sniffles, the sound he knew all too well, the sound he had caused so many times.

He exhaled deeply, letting guilt sweep through his body once again, wracking his brain for the answer to what he had done this time.

_What did I say? What did I do?...what should I do..?_

He turned on his heels and let his head drop against the hard wood door.

He waited, but her sniffles and faint cries didn't subside so instead he knocked softly on the door, hoping for a response.

When nothing came, he spoke quietly.

"Blair…can I come in?" he asked calmly with a hint of pleading in his voice.

He heard some shuffling behind the door. When she didn't answer, he tried again.

"Please let me in…?" he begged. Huh! Chuck Bass begging: only for Blair Waldorf, always.

"_Go away Chuck, I'm perfectly fine." _She finally responded bluntly, trying to hide her sniffles.

"Sounds like it…"

"_I asked you to leave me alone; please I just need a minute." _She insisted, but he made no effort to retract his concern.

The only amount of time he allowed was a mere two minutes or so before he could no longer contain the silence. The separation.

He pushed the handle of the door slowly and to his surprise it was unlocked. He didn't make any quick movements and slowly opened it, before passing through the small opening, inside.

xoxo

The way he had said those words to her so easily. The sincerity in his eyes made her want to scream. She had no idea why she felt like this, she loved him with all she had, one look into his eye and she wanted to trust him, every word that he uttered, every breath he breathed against her lips…he was there, with her, wasn't he?

Before she knew what she was doing, her feet had carried her out of her bed and into her bathroom. Sitting on the floor of her shower, letting the cold water cut like daggers into her skin, she cried into her chest as she pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face.

She thought he had left her alone, until she noticed the figure standing in front of her with a bewildered look of worry plastered across his face. She pulled her eyes up to meet his, and without warning, her tears had come hard and fast.

He stepped quickly in her direction and into the shower, with the immediate feel of the ice cold water stinging his skin.

Before he did anything, he altered the heat to warm, knowing not to put it hot too fast.

He quickly turned his attention to Blair; she was sitting just as she was when he found her. She looked freezing, numb. She looked lost…

He bent down in front of her until he reached the floor and sat directly in front of her.

She wouldn't look at him; instead she looked blankly at his chest, as hers heaved up and down with every breath; tears and water streaking her body.

She was soaked from head to toe, with just his white shirt covering her and protecting her from the sprays of the shower.

Placing his hands on both sides of her face, Chuck encouraged her to face him…to let him in.

The moment she met his eyes, she closed hers and let the continuous tears free from her eyes.

"Please look at me…" he begged desperately, searching for some reassurance.

She didn't give him any and continued to let her chest heave with every pant and tear.

He moved close, letting his legs trail down both sides of her body until she was directly in his embrace. He pulled her straight into a hug, his sanctuary. She didn't fight, or struggle and the only true reason for that was because she needed to know he was there, needed him to know that she wanted him there, for her to need him.

Chuck could feel the goose bumps on her bare arm and the cast on her other against his bare chest. It sent shivers down his spine; the evidence of the pain he had caused all those weeks ago. How could two people be so complicated, so twisted yet so perfectly beautiful together?

Blair no longer felt the water splashing against her skin. She was too numb to realise Chuck had even turned up the heat, but still conscious enough to know, his body was the only thing keeping her body warm…her heart and soul warm.

Two strangers aligning, yet so finely tuned that they know each other better than they know themselves. Sometimes tables have to turn and sometimes the players don't want to lose, but the game always wins no matter who plays and the tricks that are pulled…

Neither of them spoke, neither of them dared. That would mean the truth and at the present moment, both of them wanted nothing more than to be living a dream where nothing mattered, just them.

* * *

A/N: I know this was short but I wanted to create build up. Although you may be confused as to why Blair fought so hard just to get Chuck to fight for her, but now she's in denial about if fate really is the one fighting to keep them apart or together if that makes sense…and she need Chuck's to reassure her and help her trust them and their strength. Writing this chapter makes me feel as if they should go their separate ways? What do you think? …


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 12

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: Hi chums! There has been an intense decrease in the amount of reviews I am receiving…are people getting bored? Should I stop this story? Thanks for the reviews I did receive! Really strongly appreciate those who are still reviewing :D …Again this is pretty angsty but things should get better. I got a bit tearful writing this…**Save Yourself **& **Please Don't Stop The Rain by James Morrison**…onwards me thinks…

* * *

No one spoke. No one needed to, for the moment. Chuck had pulled Blair out of the shower and helped her dress in her night gown before tucking themselves back into bed.

Chuck was propped up against the headboard while Bair lay with her back to his chest, their legs intertwined as Chuck enveloped her in a cocoon of warmth. They sat watching Roman Holiday, forgetting the now, living in another time, wrapped in the faux world of romance.

He felt her breathing start to even out and realised she had fallen into her perfect slumber. He reached for the remote and switched the TV off.

Carefully he moved them both down the bed so he could lay flat; still clinging to Blair like his life depended on it. He could never let this go. Blair had told him that she would die if she had to live without him. He knew the exact feeling, the only acceptable feeling.

That was why he did it, why he allowed it to happen. The thought of living without her was unbearable…if she chose someone else, if she didn't want him anymore.

He tried to fall for Raina to allow himself to think of something that didn't revolve around Blair. It worked for a while, but then it came crashing down on him.

Maybe she needed time, time to know what she needed…what they needed. He hated the separation, the uncertainty, but the thing he hated more was living everyday, wondering when the next time Blair would feel like this. He saw the fear in her eyes, the ambiguity. The desperation. He had to give her the time, the time they both needed. He loved her more than to let her spiral.

xoxo

It was mid afternoon when they finally woke. Again, neither of them dared to move, that would mean facing reality.

Chuck knew what needed to be done, for both their sakes.

He helped her to sit up, taking her arms in his masculine hands, he directed her to him.

The look in her eyes let him know, she knew. He nodded, to make sure that was what he saw. It was.

"Blair…" he addressed so quietly it almost went unheard.

She shook her head, letting a lonely tear part.

"You know we have to do this…" he assured.

"It hurts too much" she ached.

"I know…and I hate this too but we need to do this for us both"

"How long?..." She managed to mutter, not letting their eye contact waver; needing to know if this was real, if he was being honest.

"As long as you need…as we need…" he struggled, just imagining the disconnection ached in his chest.

"How will we know? ...how will I know?"

"You'll know…I will know." He announced confidently.

The contact didn't waver and neither did her trust, her belief.

She let the final mass escape her, quivering in desperation.

He cupped her face with his soft palms and kissed away her tears. Her cheek bones, her chin, her nose…nothing went untouched. He finally placed a chaste kiss on her _his_ lips, relishing in every moment, leaving a second earlier before he lost himself.

When she opened her eyes, he was gone from her bed; their sanctuary for the past day or so.

She heard the door of the bathroom click shut, it only reopening when he stepped out, fully dressed as he was when he arrived the day before.

xoxo

She watched him as he stepped towards her on the bed, putting one knee up so her could get better access to her.

He placed his hand on her chin, meeting her brown doe eyes. He kissed her on her forehead for a longing few seconds, remembering the feel, the honesty.

He stepped away from the bed, losing her eye contact. He could feel her gaze on his back, but didn't want to look back, already struggling to grip onto the lump in his throat.

His hand warmed the door handle, he went as slowly as he could; remembering her scent, the memory. He didn't know if he would ever return and this, the handle was the only thing he had left to cling onto.

As he pushed it downwards, he felt her hand against his back. The one last desperate plea.

Turning to meet her, she immediately pushed her arms around his shoulders, burying her face into his neck.

He felt his chest tighten at the innocent gesture and quickly wrapped his arms around her petit form, pulling her off the ground slightly to get the full intensity.

She clung onto him for dear life, as he did her. She wasn't ready to let him disappear from her touch, her senses.

She could feel the faint whisper of a sniffle and the tiny wetness that touched her bare neck.

"You'll know…" she whispered into his ear, leaving a chaste kiss in its place.

"I won't stop…" he added, letting her feet touch the ground once more.

Releasing her grip around his neck, she buried her fingers through his silky locks, savouring the touch.

She pulled him into a final kiss. It was chaste, honest, desperate.

Closing her eyes as she felt his grip loosen, only to be opened when she heard the clicking of the bedroom door shutting. He was gone. She was gone…but for how long.

xoxo

Blair dropped to her knees. Kneeling at the place they had parted.

Her breathes were laboured and uneven as her chest heaved to intake the oxygen she needed. The oxygen that had just been emptied from the room the moment Chuck walked out.

She felt like the walls were closing in on her and she had no idea how to push back, how to survive.

Serena walked into the room with her attention elsewhere.

"Blair why did I just see Chuck leaving, looking pretty upset…" She asked as her mind came to realization the situation she had just walked into.

"Oh my…Blair are you ok?" She knelt in front of her best friend, pulling her up so she could understand what was going on.

"What did he do this time? Please tell me…"

"The-the right thing…he did the right thing…" Blair managed out of another bath of breathlessness and tears denied to subside.

"Oh sweetie…you'll get through this, I'm here", she comforted the best she could, not knowing exactly how to confront the situation she had just been fronted with.

She had no idea how two people could be so lethal yet so perfect together.

"Is it over?..." Serena had to ask.

She felt Blair shake her head rapidly against her neck.

Blair could never believe that. Even if it was true she wouldn't let herself believe it.

"What then? I don't understand…" confused would have been an understatement, but then again, so would Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck.

Blair pulled herself free of Serena's embrace and to her feet.

"Time…he's given us time…" Blair announced somberly, regretting the moment the words left her, knowing now that this was truly reality.

"How long?..."

Blair shrugged in answer. She didn't know, he didn't know. Time would only tell.

_Absence makes thy heart grow fonder… _

"Oh, B…you'll get through this, you and Chuck are the strongest people I know", Serena encouraged as she approached Blair who had know taken stance at the window, looking over her _their _kingdom that lied below.

"Together…no apart…" she muttered to herself softly, knowing Serena had no idea what she was talking about, but that didn't matter, it made sense to her, it always had.

xoxo

The evening had come slower than Blair would have liked, she anticipated the loneliness and dreaded the silence.

She had sent Serena away after pleading that she needed some time alone. Not because she wanted to be alone, but because she wanted only Chuck to be there with her, and without him, no one was worthy to fill his place. No one ever would.

She stood in the middle of her lonely bathroom, listening to the trickle and running of the water filling her large bath. She hadn't felt since he left the room; she hadn't spoken since Serena had left.

Blair Waldorf had never felt so pathetic, so weak, so uncontrolled. It had barely been five hours since he had walked out and yet she could not comprehend the emotions she felt towards the actions that had transpired.

The foreignness of the present was too overwhelming to handle. The numbness she felt in her limbs, in her heart. The coldness she felt throughout her body; it truly scared her to feel so dependant on just one person.

Maybe if they had ended things; if Chuck would have walked out for the final time, it wouldn't be so hard, so painful. But just knowing and not knowing when, where, how to find each other and fix each other hurt like no other pain she had ever experienced.

The cosmetic warmth that surrounded her body as she plunged her petit frame into the hot bath stung. The pain that penetrated through her skin was enough to blank her mind of the heart ache for just a moment.

Blair still felt the weight of her cast as she dangled her arm out of reach of the scolding water, the evidence.

Closing her eyes, she imagined the temporary warmth surrounding her bare skin was Chuck's, warming her to the brink, everything she needed. For now, that is all she had.

xoxo

The second he let go of her and left her alone, he hated himself all over again.

Chuck had experienced all the possible pain a person could deny in his short life; the pain that lingered with the guilt of thinking he killed his mother, the pain of fighting for his father's acceptance, the physical pain of being shot, the pain of being punched in the face, the pain of a heel stabbing his foot…but no pain had ever prepared him for the pain that came with loving Blair Waldorf, nothing could come close to the pain he practiced the moment he stepped out of her bedroom.

Now standing, alone on the rooftop of the Empire watching the world go by, listening to the traffic below was the only comfort he was able to gain. The chill of winter still lingered as did the feeling of guilt and regret. The thing blocking the pain signals constantly was the bitterness of the evening, hitting his face. If this was only momentary, it was better than the constant stream of emptiness.

Hearts break and there is only one person able to salvage them. Tables turn and the game always wins, the players always lose.

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A/N: Thoughts? I know this is a bit depressing but if I do continue, I am going to make the next chapter a bit more cheerful, but we needed to work through some issues here first…Since haven't been getting many reviews, I am wondering if people are losing interest…my decision to continue is down to you…the answer lies below…. Ta :)


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 13

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: Sorry it took me all week to update :/ but here it finally is, I hope it was worth the wait! But before we proceed…may I say thank you sooo much for your amazing reviews as always! I would love to list you all but there are too many so I will just thank you this way! You know who you are, you adorably lovely amazing peeps! …but a bit of rant I would like to include is…I opened this story to anonymous reviews as this story was a recommendation elsewhere and one review was very negative…just to clarify…I appreciate all constructive criticism as any writer does, but I do not appreciate people being rude towards my writing! Pfft! Someone said it was 'unbelievable'…at the end of the day it is a FICTION and my imagination of how I want **CHAIR **to play out…with all the crappy **Chair** going on in the show, I wanted some happiness and relief and although some people may have lost hope for **Chair**... I am still a believer and shipper and I will continue to write how I want the story, sorry if it isn't to everyone's tastes. This story will be a happy **Chair** ending as originally intended so if you are with me, onward…** Don't Let Me Fall by B.o.B ** **  
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Ever experienced a false sense of security, Blair had. To say the days went slowly would have been an understatement. Every moment apart seemed excruciating and the strange fact was that she had been apart from Chuck many times before but this time seemed like a true ultimatum and she still had yet to decide what she wanted and what was best for them.

Blair descended down the staircase in the Waldorf with ease as she noticed a bouquet of flowers on the table in the foyer waiting for her.

Once she reached them, her eye brows knitted together as she noticed there was no note. Assuming they were just purely decoration would be sensible, but considering there was already a vase decorating the table, she was to assume not.

"Dorota?" Blair announced as she picked up the familiar scented poenies and smelt them.

"Yes Miss Blair?" Dorota responded as she shuffled towards Blair from the dining room.

"Who sent these?" she asked curiously.

"Mr Chuck", she replied.

"Why did they not come with a note?" she pondered, knowing Chuck would always leave a note, may it be long or short.

"He say have good day", Dorota loyally shrugged.

"That's all, thank you Dorota", Blair waved her off as she stared at the flowers aimlessly.

"You ready to go B?" Serena announced her entrance obliviously as she walked straight towards Blair from the dining room.

"Huh?" Blair snapped out of her trance.

"You ready?" Serena reconfirmed.

"Oh, yes. Lets go." Blair cut off as she walked towards the elevator, Serena following, leaving the bouquet where it was found.

"Pretty flowers…" Serena commented discretely as they both stepped into the elevator.

Serena knew better than anyone not to push Blair into talking, so instead she would wait for Blair to come to her…if she ever did, sooner or later she would break...or Serena would do the breaking.

xoxo

"Hey man…" Nate approached Chuck who was gathering his files on the pool table and putting them into his briefcase.

"I don't have time for one of your pathetic excuses Nathanial; I am on my way out." Chuck said sternly as he side stepped his best friends and proceeded to the elevator.

"But about Rain-" Nate tried as he moved to catch him.

"Do what you please Nathanial, I haven't the strength to care about a mistake in the past. I have more important things to worry about like helping Lily and saving my relationships." And with that he was gone into the elevator, leaving Nate confused and alone.

xoxo

"So how's Lily coping?" Blair asked politely as she and Serena wandered through the park at a leisurely pace.

"I'm proud of her…I mean; she has finally owned up to her wrong doing and is willing to take the consequences…" Serena trailed off.

"But how is she?" Blair asked again.

"Oh, she's fine, just nervous about the court hearing. We all are, god knows Cece has done all she can to lighten the blow but nothing seems to be working", She added.

"I heard Chuck was trying to help?" Blair prodded innocently as she took a sip of her starbucks.

"Yeah…let's talk about Chuck shall we!" Serena interrupted.

"That's not what I meant." Blair shot.

"No…maybe not, but I want to know!" Serena took a step ahead of Blair and stopped her dead in her tracks.

"There is nothing to 'know'".

Serena wasn't convinced and raised an eyebrow.

"Move!" Blair almost yelled as she tried to weave past her tall best friend.

"I will when you answer a question…"

"One."

"How many times have you watched Audrey in the last two days, B?" Serena looked at her best friend expectantly, knowing what was about to submerge.

"That is not a relevant question, now if you'll excuse me…" Blair tried again to move her best friend.

"Blair." Serena warned.

Blair knew why she was asking such a question and knew exactly where the answer would lead to.

Blair was at a dead end, literally and metaphorically. She was lodged in between a bench and Serena; her only exit was either over the bench or to answer the question. Considering she was wearing a pencil skirt and Jimmy Choo pumps, she was in no position to climb over the bench.

"I'm not sure…"

"A number." Serena urged.

"It's hard to say really…two?" Blair smiled innocently.

"Blair." She warned again as she continued to raise her eye brows in a, don't-you-dare-lie-to-me fashion.

"Fine! Seven okay!" Blair announced as she stormed past Serena.

"How is that possible?" Serena asked in disbelief. She knew it was going to be a large number of times, but seven was just too much for belief; she knew it was bad...but not seven times bad.

"I couldn't sleep, I couldn't stop thinking and the only thing that helped was watching Audrey, okay!" She almost shouted as she hastily walked towards their town car.

"B, stop!" she ran after her best friend.

"This conversation has finished. Now if you will excuse me." Before Serena could object, Blair had stepped into the car and had driven off, leaving Serena alone.

xoxo

Chuck walked into the foyer of the Van der-Humphrey penthouse and was greeted by Eric.

"Chuck, it's been a while!" Eric said as he approached his step brother.

"Hi. Where's Lily, I need to talk with her." He asked abruptly.

"You've just missed her; she went for lunch with Cece and Rufus. Anyway, where have you been for the past two days?" Eric queried.

"Taking care of business"

"I know you want to help Mom but everyone has tried, we just have to hold tight and see what happens, hope for the best", Eric assured as he directed his gaze to Chuck who obviously wasn't listening.

"What have you done with Chuck Bass?" Eric questioned suspiciously.

"What?...sorry, I have a lot on my mind…" he explained.

"Wouldn't have guessed…" Eric added quietly.

"I have to go, but can you tell Lily I need to talk with her?" Chuck said swiftly as he began walking to the elevator.

"Sure…it was nice catching up!" Eric shouted towards the elevator as Chuck disappeared around the corner.

xoxo

Blair stepped off the elevator with great haste and rushed into the kitchen, pulling the fridge door open.

She pulled out the first thing she saw which was an apple pie, lying so innocently just moments ago.

She dragged a fork from the draw next to her as quick as she could and begun digging forkfuls into her mouth. One after another until she felt the discomfort in her throat and stomach.

She was controlling the fork, her mind, her body…

"BLAIR STOP!" she heard the yelling before she could see anything else, only the blurring of her eyes.

She heard the shouting and the crashing of the bowl and the fork as she felt someone's hand brace her shoulders. She could hear or feel nothing else as she closed her eyes and imagined she was dreaming, a nightmare.

"What are you doing? Why!"

"Blair! Look at me!"

God Blair hoped it would be him, hers, but it wasn't; instead she felt Serena's softness and warmth as she tugged at her arms.

Blair slumped to the floor, joining the pie and her fork. She blinked back as many tears as she could, but she didn't care, she had lost control a long time ago.

"I-I-" she panted through each stabbing breath and tear.

"Shh, it's okay…" Serena comforted as she enveloped Blair in her arms.

The wall would go up and the front would go on, always pretentious smiles and bittersweet heart ache of uncertainty everyday she was without him. How could someone go on living like this?

xoxo

_You're a disappointment_

_Why would anyone put their trust in you?_

_You're weak_

_Naïve _

"SHUT UP!" Chuck yelled as he let the tumbler free from his hand, sending the golden remnants of glass and alcohol crashing towards the wall.

"Just leave me alone!" he shouted at the empty room, storming away as fast as his feet could carry him, into his deserted bedroom, the bedroom where he should be with the woman he loved.

Players lose…tables turn and as always, hearts break and can only be fixed when there is the right person to do it….but the cracks are still visible.

* * *

A/N: Bit angsty I know I know! I tried to lighten it a bit in the beginning but it had to be done guys! Things will resolve soon… Tehee! Tell me what you thought of that! :D ta chums!


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 14

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: The responses to my last chappie were pretty damn amazing! Tehehe! I am SMILING so much from all your reviews because you are all amazing people! :D We are drawing ever more closer to the end...I thought this potentially could be the end and if you think it is a good enough ending then I will let it be…and possibly add a final epilogue…but let me know. This chapter may surprise you a little… **Coming For You by JoJo **& **Who Am I To Say by Hope...this song really makes this chapter so make sure you listen and read :D**...without firther ado...**  
**

* * *

A classic fairytale; there is a beginning, a middle and a happy ending. If only love was ever that simple. If only two perfectly matched people knew how to create the perfection that is craved but yet clinically unrealistic.

Blair Waldorf knew a fairytale…a beginning and a middle. Nate Archibald gave her the starting blocks. Chuck Bass tried to give her the ending, but then again…nothing ever does go to plan.

"_That's not true…you, are sacred to me…"_

"_BLAIR!"_

_SCRASH! _

"No! No! No!" Blair screamed as she shot up from her bed.

"B! Wake up, it's just a dream. Wake up…" Serena encouraged as she grabbed Blair's face in her palms in an effort to make her see sense.

Her breathing was laboured as she realised she had been having a nightmare. Her dreary eyes shot open to her familiar surrounding, the familiar touch of her best friend. It would have all been normal, except from the fact that nothing was familiar without him. It was like she was living in a foreign body, in a parallel universe to her screwed up one.

"I-I need to get out! I need air…" she panted as she shrugged out of Serena's embrace and moved quickly towards her window.

"B, just calm down…do you want me to get you some water?" Serena asked as she tried to place her hand on Blair's shoulder but she shrugged it off.

She didn't wait for a response and instead walked out into the dark corridor and down the stairs towards the kitchen.

xoxo

When Blair felt silence around her, she couldn't stop the overwhelming urge to get out. Physically get out.

Before she knew how to respond to her body's movement, she found herself shrugging on her Burberry coat and a pair of house slippers.

She exited her room and paced swiftly towards the elevator. Not knowing where she was going, but knowing where she needed to be.

Serena heard the elevator just in time to see them close, with Blair safely in its midst.

"B, where are you-" she was gone before there was any attempt of protest.

Serena wanted to follow but she knew. She would like to believe that she was enough for B in times like this, times of desperation, but the truth was, she needed him. Needed him like he needed her.

She let her go.

xoxo

The cold spring air hit her cheeks like daggers. She walked, ran. The only thing she wouldn't let herself do was stop. She would never stop.

Before she knew where she was, she was stood outside an elevator. How she got there was a blur, but it felt like seconds.

She felt breakable, untouchable… destructible.

The thudding of her chest increased as she smelt it. She need to feel it, to be consumed by it overtook her.

The door handle disappeared between her fingers as she pushed the door open. The darkness of the room hit her, followed by the warmth.

Her eyes came upon his figure. She let the coat drop from her body and the slippers drop away too.

"Blair…what are you doing here?" his deep voice lingered as the figure sat up slightly to see her.

His voice made her crumble from her frozen state; her numbness subsided even if it was for a second.

"Please…" she gasped as she could no longer take the welling in her chest.

No more needed to be said as he pulled back the covers on her side. Always her side, never slept on unless she was there.

She almost leapt to his side; he immediately pulling her flush against him, soaking her pain in his chest.

"Please…" she wept.

She pleaded for all the reasons she had and he knew.

"I don't know…"

He answered. Vaguely unanswered to most people. But to her it was enough.

She sunk further into his embrace, letting his arms take her waist, rocking each other slightly to ease the hurt.

He wasn't gentle; he was firm… like his life depended on keeping her close to him. Like she was his life line. She always had been.

_Beep Beep Beep_

"I'm sorry…" he murmured softly into her curls as he continued to rock her.

"So am I…" she replicated against his chest, burying her nose further into his scent, right next to his heart. The thudding keeping her distant from the pain.

But was it pain. Was it like the pain she felt against her faint limp that still lingered on her body. Was it as painful as the scar on her cheek. Was it like the pain of her wrist and the scars that keep the memory?

It was so much more.

xoxo

She felt the droplets of his despair against her. She felt and heard the increase in his heart beat and the sniffles that followed. But neither of them cared. Now was enough.

His death grip decreased as she struggled in his arms until she was lying on her side, looking at his straight in the eyes.

He didn't reframe her gaze or her touch, when she moved to place her lips against his cheek bone, wiping away the remnants of hurt.

She followed suit kissing her way to his other cheek until she landed upon his lips. Chaste and gentle.

She brushed her nose against his, waiting for his response. And she let a sigh of relief leave her when he didn't reject her, instead brushing her nose and lightly touching the side of her mouth with his lips.

"Save me…" he whispered as he stared straight into her midst; the vulnerable depths that they both shared, searching for the protection he needed.

Wasn't he supposed to be the strong one? He never would be, it was always her.

She shook her head, knowing what he was asking.

"Not possible…" he flinched at the sentence.

Closing his eyes, waiting for the warmth by his side to disappear…But it didn't; it only grew stronger as she took his face in her hands.

His eyes opened to meet her welcome ones.

"I need you to save me…"

"I'm weak…" he denied.

"Me too…"

"…I did fall in love with Chuck Bass after all…" the smallest smile appeared against his lips.

He kissed her forehead as he held on tight, for the only moment that existed.

"Save us…" dropped from her mouth as he pulled her lips to his.

With that, he slid her completely underneath him and he held her gaze.

Kissing his way across her features, her neck, her pulse points to her heart…every inch of her untouched to his love.

Gently they tugged at each other's barriers, pulling away the artificial layers until they were left with nothing but honesty and complete vulnerability.

The integrity and sincerity in their movement were like heaven. _Their _heaven. Not rushing for once moment, savouring the seconds, the minutes, the memories.

She moved her legs to wrap around his waist, accommodating the fit of his hips against hers like a perfect match. Moulded to one another like a piece of art.

Their urge for one another was painfully strong but the time was more.

She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him so close that they were a breath away.

"Perfectly broken…"

He nodded slightly, absorbing what was meant; what was felt.

"I love you…"

This time she nodded and that was that. With ease he allowed himself the slip into her comforting warmth, _home._

She gasped at his single touch, needing no more than to keep the bond that held them in place.

Still joined, he made no effort to move as he relished the familiarity of it all. The simplistic being that was love.

"Fix us…" her eyes pleaded as she let him take her away from the pain that would always be ever present.

He stroked her with a craved, gentle touch. Tugging at her body and heart strings all in one motion as he begun to thrust into her, gliding their bodies together in sync, like it had always been.

Nothing to be hurried apart from the swelling in their hearts and the aching in their chests.

The simplistic act of love was all they had for now.

Hearts can only be mended when there is the right person to do it. It can take one person to break a heart, but it will always take two people to fix one.

While the tables are always turning, hearts can be mended and just sometimes, the players can win….filling two lover's heart with the need and desperation they seek.

* * *

A/N: I know I know! It was angsty….again! And I know sex doesn't solve everything but I needed them to reach out to each other and I really wanted to make a statement so I hope I achieved that! Let me know if I did… cheers chums!


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter 15

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: We have hit 120 reviews! And the stats for this story are amazing! 35 favs and 58 alerts for this story! WOW! I am über happy with the amount of support all my followers and reviewers have brought me throughout this journey I have taken you on. This is your two chapter notice :( I know, I know…some people may not want it to end, but I think the time is coming to an end and they need to decide what they want for each other. I wanted this to be a happy Chair ending, but now I've been deep into the emotions of these characters once again, with my stories, I feel that I may be on the fence…but stick around and we will find out, because at the moment, the very moment I am typing this, I have not yet written the final chapter and anything could happen :) **I'm In Here by Sia **forthis chapter folks…

* * *

Blair wasn't religious. She had rarely gone church. But she sometimes prayed.

It was only in moments like this, moments of uncertainty when she wanted to pray. Plead to whoever was up there, if there was someone; that she could be happy and that the man who laid next to her in the warmth of the moment would never hurt her again…would never let her go.

She took his hands that were wrapped around her from behind and held onto them with her small ones covering his. She closed her eyes and told the truth, told her worst fears and told her hopes. Letting her sanctity drain her face.

_Everyone needs help, Blair Waldorf needs help…_

If she could, she would freeze time. She would stop the clocks and keep him just where she needed him. Clinging onto each other until they both didn't feel the pain anymore.

It was abnormal. Unhealthy. An addiction only ChuckandBlair BlairandChuck could understand.

Blair closed her eyes, threading her finger with his, pulling him tighter…remembering the familiarity, wondering how long it would last. Hoping…praying that all the pain and hurt; that it would have all been for a cause, for something worth living for, because without Chuck in her life, she wasn't Blair Waldorf…she wasn't anyone.

xoxo

He awoke to her safely in his arms, just where he had left her. He stared for a long moment, absorbing her presence, because if this was a dream, he wanted to stay like this forever.

The moment she had walked into his room last night, he felt the weight lifted. The voices in his head died and he felt like his heart was beating again, even if it was thumping out of rhythm…she always had that effect on him.

The perfect symmetry of her face brought butterflies to his stomach. The perfect curve of her shoulder and the perfect softness of her skin against his. The only thing tainting his love…the scar that marred her left cheek, existing the evidence of the pain he had caused her.

How could she love such a monster, how could he allow her to…

She was truly his drug. As much as he pushed, she pulled right back and kept him in her midst, only to love her even more with each moment.

He kissed her shoulder, her neck, her cheek which bared her scar; inhaling her perfection before leaving her in the warmth of his bed. He removed himself from her grasp and walked out of the double doors into the sunrise that shone through the ceiling to floor glass window overlooking the kingdom that was once theirs.

Last night changed everything, for better and for worse. He walked to his desk and took out a pen and paper.

xoxo

Blair woke up to a cold bed. She felt her heart rate pick up as the panic that she had dreaded hit her. She gathered the covers to her chest, smelling his musk, closing her eyes and pleading that he had not run.

"Chuck!" She shouted, getting up from the bed and running into the living area, the covers wrapped around her naked frame protectively.

When there was silence, she erupted into a deep batch of sobs, letting her emotions well within her.

"Please let this be a dream…" she whispered to herself as she returned to the place he had left her, abandoned once more.

When she wanted to scream, wanting to chuck something…she saw it.

A perfectly folded note on his pillow.

She sucked in a sharp breath and moved towards the suspicious piece of paper that sat so innocently unnoticed just moments ago.

She placed herself on his side of the bed. Picking the note up carefully, she unfolded the crisps paper that graced her palms.

Scared of what it may say, she froze her movements for a single moment, before being unable to refrain herself one moment longer.

She stared blankly at the words that were jumbling on the page, finally allowing her eyes to focus on the writing that wanted to be read so desperately.

_**Dear Blair,**_

_**I didn't want to wake you…you **__**looked so peaceful and beautiful, as always.**_

_**You are probably curious as to why I have written this letter? I'm curious myself but I needed you to know why I did what I did and why I am not with you, to tell you face to face. **_

_**I'm a coward.**_

_**I was a coward all those years ago and I am a coward now… running away from my feelings, away from you. **_

_**The hardest thing I ever did was letting someone in, letting someone see the true me. I chose you and I never once regretted it.**_

_**When I told you I loved you, I meant every word and not a day since, has my love for you wavered. It never will.**_

_**I'm a**__** bastard and a coward for all the hurt I have caused you. I believed that you would always stand by me and never judge my actions; you did, but I was naïve to use you and your feelings as a way of keeping you… hurting you.**_

_**I was never worthy of you and probably never will be. When I push, you are always pulling…I think that's why I hurt you, because I know you will always pull me back to my senses, where I needed to be…with you.**_

_**No one was ever able to replace you and no one ever will. My insecurities got the better of me when I allowed myself to think that you would want more than me, you deserve more than me. **_

_**I was pushing to let you move on and in the process, I allowed myself to want to fall in love again. Only you had that power and I was clinging onto what I thought I had left.**_

_**In the end, the only person I ended up hurting was you.**__** I was an idiot to believe you would ever let me go, but I did, because I will never be worthy of your love.**_

_**I wanted to believe that if I moved on, you could too and you could be happy, without me, with someone who would never hurt you like I did. **_

_**My father always told me that I was not worthy, that I was a waste of space, weak. I proved him right. I lost sight of what was most important, who was most important and I put my selfish needs before the only person that really mattered, the only person that has ever mattered, who has ever loved me, for me...all of me.**_

_**The moment I heard the screaming and I saw you in the middle of the road, so broken, because of me…I wanted to die. I wanted to be able to take all the pain and suffering away, but I knew I would only make it worse…I did what I am good at, I ran.**_

_**The only thing that has kept me clinging on for so many years is you; running after me and puling me back in. I love you and hate you for it.**_

_**The pain that I **__**have caused should have never happened, but it did. I did it and I will never forgive myself. I don't know how you even tried…you shouldn't love a monster like me. No one should.**_

_**When I am not with you, my heart aches and when I am with you I break your heart. I will always make mistakes and I will always end up hurting you, no matter how hard you push to save me. I didn't think I could ever be saved, but It was…by you… even if it was just for a moment…**_

_**I am sorry.**_

_**If I could give all my money away just to take back what I did and the pain I caused I would. I don't want anything other than to see you smile again…for you to live happy.**_

_**If after all this, you still believe I can be saved and that I can make you happy, I will be waiting, always.**_

_**7pm, where it all started.**_

_**I love you**_

_**Always have and always will**_

_**-Chuck x**_

She clung onto the material between her fingers as she exhaled the deepest breath. The page was drenched with tears that had subsided from her aching heart.

This was the ultimatum of all.

Only she could decide what she wanted, and at that very moment, all she wanted to do was close her eyes and shut the world out.

She couldn't speak, she couldn't form words to her lips, instead she let the silence linger between her and the empty house, wishing life didn't have to be bittersweet.

When did things get so fucked up?

She stood up from the bed, letting the covers drop behind her.

Walking towards his closet, she opened it with ease, before her eyes set on the large metal container that sat at the back of his wardrobe, barely hidden by his suits.

She pushed the expensive materials aside until she was met by the numbers keeping secrets locked away.

Placing her perfectly manicured fingers against the buttons, she entered the code, the only code that had ever been appropriate.

Her birthday

He had never told her the code, but she always knew. She was Blair Waldorf and he was Chuck Bass.

Within seconds, her eyes fell upon a black box. She did not know what she was looking for when she opened the safe, but when she saw it, she knew what she had been looking for all along.

As her fingers traced the opening of the box, the memories flooded back to her mind, and the hurt throbbed in her throat.

_Don't say her name!_

_I destroyed the only thing I ever loved_

_I don't love you anymore_

_Your world would be easier if I didn't come back_

_It wouldn't be my world without you in it_

Blair Waldorf never knew love quite like this. It was a beautiful disaster, damned from the start. Damned if she didn't…damned if she did.

She was tainted for all. She wanted nothing more than to live simply and love Chuck, but he was giving her an easy exit, a way to be happy. No games, not pretence, just happiness.

Huh. Happiness, who knew what that meant anyway. Did it mean fireworks, did it means taking a risk?

For Blair, happiness meant being loved by someone unconditionally, for all your best bits and all your worst…and the sad fact was, the only man who could ever cause her all this pain was also the only man who could love her unconditionally for all she was. Blair Cornelia Waldorf.

Her heart told her one thing, her head told her another.

Before she could lose herself in thought, she moved to get dressed, get out of the prison she had got herself in.

In a moment she was gone, she ran out of his bedroom, his home, she ran out into the road, the cross-roads of her life.

Everyone needs someone to save them, someone to mend their heart. Sometimes, tables turn but the game remains the same and the players are always fighting to win…

* * *

A/N: For this final bit of the chapter, I re-watched the scene in the train station where Blair tell Chuck she doesn't love him anymore….and I realised that from writing about these characters, you get right into the root of them and their pure emotions and this idea that I was living what they were was so overwhelming that I was crying empathetically! I'm so sad! I just hope that this emotion showed through in my writing, thank you :) you know what to do…


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter: 16

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: Oh oh! I have written a new Chiar one-shot, if anyone fancies it, take a peak! It is called **Beautiful Disaster**, would love to here what you all think... So I told a booboo…this is not the final chapter *shakes head* sorry for getting you all anticipated :( I split it into two but the next one is the final…I think..? Sigh. Any who…**Punching In A Dream by The Naked And Famous** …lets roll…

* * *

The hours had never moved so slowly. The minutes had never been so patient. The seconds had never been so excruciating.

For once in his life, Chuck Bass couldn't control what was about to happen. He couldn't control if she came to him or not, he couldn't control their fate. But he would always wait.

_I was resolved not to_

_Every bone in my body tried to slow me_

_Every voice in my head screamed 'don't'_

_I followed my heart because_

_Love makes everything simple_

_That's not true…you, are sacred to me…_

_xoxo  
_

She felt physically sick, in the worst way. She had busied herself but every trail of thought would results in fatality. She had built a prison too high for her to escape; only she had to power to save herself, to save what they had.

For once in her life, she wished she could be more like him. That she could run without being left with the consequences, bury her worst fears away into a pit of nothing, guarding her heart from the pain she would always be a victim to.

Blair Waldorf never thought she was naïve. But the moment she fell in love with her match, she allowed herself into the vulnerable state that even she did not know how to get out.

Sacrifice.

They were both standing behind walls they had built for themselves. Together they were weak just as they were strong…. and apart, they were cowards as well as weak.

She saw him and he saw her. All their scratches and bruises, all their hurt and pain. Through their eyes, it was always each other.

It scared the shit out of Blair. How could she be chained so strongly to just one being when she was supposed to be indestructible… Queen B.

xoxo

The pain he had inflicted would replay in his life for as long as he breathes.

He didn't know how such a narcissist could come to be loved by another being. He had closed himself off from everything he knew as long as he remembered, knowing how lethal just one person could be. Yet he let someone break his barriers and find the scared little boys behind it all, waiting to be picked up. Waiting for someone worthy to come along… to save him.

The sad thing was…he never truly believed he was worthy.

Sitting in his limo, watching the world go by seemed like hours. Like a life time of stories coming to beginnings and endings in front of his eyes.

Children running circles around their parents, teens going shopping, gossiping, honest to god couples who stared into each other's eyes like they had discovered a new adventure, people getting married, creation of new life, couple growing old together, holding hands as they trail along the sidewalk… people in love. Pure and simple.

Chuck Bartholomew would always be afraid of living. With or without her, but more so without her. She made him feel lighter, like his worries were distant in some ways.

Like the feeling you get when you first take a hit; a vague sense of security and warmth that spreads across every vein in your body.

He never knew a feeling like it, only that it brought him a sense of meaning and refuge in his own body. Without it, he didn't have any sense of being, only the self inflicted pain he did onto himself.

xoxo

"Why did you need me to come home so desperately?" Serena asked as she plopped onto Blair's bed, watching her run around dressing herself.

"I asked you here to help me." Blair answered.

"With what exactly?"

"Zip me up", Blair gestured as she stood with her back to Serena waiting for her to do as she had asked.

"That's what you wanted me for…to zip you up? You made me travel across town just to zip you up?..." Serena quizzed as she did her task.

"Don't be so idiotic S. I asked you here because I need you to keep me occupied for the day…" Blair conformed as she began accessorising her outfit.

"Why is today so special?" Serena queried.

"It's not. Today is a normal day like every other day, any other questions?" Blair shot as she finished pulling on her Louis Vuitton pumps.

"So what is your plan?"

"I have an appointment with Dr Philips for a check up and then I was thinking we could do a spot of shopping and lunch? I have a few errands to run for my mother and then how does dinner sound?" Blair continued without letting her best friend respond.

"Sounds perfect doesn't it? We will have fun all day! Just me, you and no other distractions…" Blair trailed off.

"B, are you ok…you're acting kinda erratic, even for Blair Waldorf…"

"I've never been better! Now let's go, the cars waiting." And with that Blair left the room, Serena slightly confused as to what had just transpired.

xoxo

"Blair, nice to see you again, how are you feeling?" Dr Philips greets as Blair and Serena step into his office.

"Hello, I am feeling great! Better than ever!" Blair perks up at his question.

"Good, I'm pleased. So down to business, have you had any complaints with your leg or arm?"

"Nothing I can think of", she offered politely.

"Do you mind if I take a look at your stitches and check your wrist is healing ok?"

"No, of course", Blair said as she lay back on the examination table, pulling up her blouse so he could take a look.

"They seem to be healing nicely. Have you been suffering any discomfort when laying down or breathing?"

"Not laying but sometimes I feel a bit breathless…"

"That's normal, you punctured a lung so they will need time to build strength again, I wouldn't worry too much unless it gets painful, in which case pop in and we'll have a look."

"Also, have you been applying that cream I recommended for the scarring?"

"Yes, I use it daily and it seems to have faded", Blair responded with ease.

When the examination was over, the doctor concluded their business.

"I have good news; I don't think it is necessary for you to come in again. You have made good recovery and hopefully I will never have to see you again! You were very lucky Blair, your boyfriend, was it? Mr Bass?...He knew you'd pull through…" he mentioned as he wrote down the final notes.

"Oh great! Well thanks for all your help, really appreciated it, bye!" Blair rushed out of the conversation and out of the room before she could be corrupted with more thoughts of _him._

"That's ok then…" Dr Philips said in surprise as she exited the room.

"Sorry, she's just not herself today. Thanks again for all your help, we all appreciated it", Serena excused her friend as she left the room, following Blair outside.

xoxo

"Blair wait up!" Serena shouted after Blair as she made her swift exit towards their limo.

"What? I don't have time Serena, we have some errands to run for my mother before she gets back from Paris this afternoon." She said sternly.

"Yes. Yes you do have time. What has gotten into you? Why are you acting so rushed and anxious?" She demanded, blocking her entrance to the limo.

Serena had gotten good at her tendency to block Blair's escape routes. Damn her.

"You imagining things, move."

Serena didn't move an inch as Blair tried to side step her.

"You either tell me right now or I am not letting you leave."

"Here's a thought, you either move out of my way and let me do what I have got to do or I can tell my mother that it was _dear_ Serena who lost her a business deal." Blair spat back.

She would go to any length at this moment as long as she didn't have to say it out loud. Say what was really lingering in her mind.

Serena shot her a look of defeat before she moved to let Blair into the limo.

"We still have things to talk about, B", she added as Blair was about to shut the door.

"Another time, must dash." And with that Blair slammed the door shut before the vehicle pulled away from the curb.

Serena pulled her phone out of her bag.

"Dorota, its Serena. Do you know what Blair's plans are for the day?"

xoxo

"Hey mom, it seems that I have a free schedule this afternoon, how about I pick you up from the airport and we can discuss how your trip to Paris was?" Blair proposed as she drove through the city with no particular direction, just letting her driver do as he pleased.

"_That sound delightful darling. I land in two hours so I will see you then", _Eleanor responded.

"Perfect", Blair ended the phone call, relaxing back into the warm leather seat. If it could be called relaxing; she had never had so much tension in all her life.

She could feel the small black box burning a hole in her mind as it sat in her purse, naively perched on the seat next to her.

The only way hearts can be mended is when they let someone in, lets someone rebuild the bruises and the cracks.

Tables turn, the game is the same, but the players are losing…

* * *

A/N: This was going to be the final chapter but I ended up splitting it into two parts as I have mentioned! Tehehe! Bare with peeps! I know lots of you read and some don't review, but as a gift for all my effort…do you see it…right down there…yep, just there…press it pleaseeee :D


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Hearts Break, Tables Turn and lives are emptied…

Chapter: 17

Author: Ellibells

Summary: When Blair and Dan overhear the conversation between Chuck and Raina in 4x15, alternative ending. Blair flees from the room. Nothing has ever hurt more than her heart breaking. This is not a Dair fic. I have nothing against their friendship because it is simple but… a relationship…no thank you!

A/N: This is it folks, the final chapter! You have all offered me AMAZING SUPPORT throughout this rollercoaster and just as a thanks, I am texting Ed as we speak and he is going to visit you all and share the love! ;) As this story is called Tables Turn…and it was inspired by this particular song…please listen to **Turning Tables by Adele & Day Too Soon by Sia**

* * *

The moment Chuck had left her that morning, she resolved herself to keep occupied and stay as far away as possible from whatever he wanted. Her head was spinning and she had no idea what to do; all she knew was that _she_ was the only piece left to be played.

Chuck walked swiftly into his penthouse, hoping Blair would have left; it would have made it much easier this way, so he could prepare for whatever he was destined to face.

He stepped into his bedroom to find his bed made, as if nothing had transpired the evening before.

Walking towards his wardrobe, he noticed something different. He noticed his shirts had been moved slightly and when he inspected further, he realised something was missing. Opening it slowly, he realised just what was innocently missing.

He stopped. Closing his eyes for a moment, wondering what this meant.

Pulling himself together, he stood up and walked out into the kitchen. He needed a drink, a large one.

Noticing Nate at the bar, he flinched. Not wanting to speak or even make eye contact with the man who had stabbed him in the back.

Truthfully, he wasn't mad at Nate, his best friend. He was mad that he lost, and someone else took his place. He didn't need Raina, he never did, but just the fact that someone won instead of him, it made him want to throw something. There was always someone better waiting in the sidelines.

When Nate and Chuck were children, he remember the conversations Nate would have with Bart, his father not batting an eyelid as he conversed with the 'Golden boy'. Chuck's effort drained.

His mind flickered to Blair. How she would always compete with Serena for her mother's affection, rarely achieving her goal. Two completely twisted people, a match.

Chuck concentrated on Nate as he stepped in front of him.

"Chuck we need to talk." He stated.

"What makes you think I have any desire to talk with you, Nathaniel?"

"You may not, but I want to explain…" he continued.

"What? The fact that you went and stabbed me in the back?" Chuck shot.

If looks could kill, Nate wouldn't stand a chance.

"It wasn't like that. You asked me to convince Raina to give you another chance and she made it clear she didn't want to give you one-"

"So you moved in the moment you had the chance. If you needed to get laid so badly Nathaniel, you could have used my little black book I kindly donated to you." Chuck interrupted.

"I really like her, Chuck. It just happened, we got talking and we connected…"

"Aw, how sweet for you", Chuck replied sarcastically.

"Do you have feelings for her?..." Nate asked curiously.

"No. but next time, why not try waiting five minutes before trying to sabotage my business deals."

Chuck began to move towards the elevator.

"You got the Empire back, what more do you want?" Nate yelled across the suite.

"Trust!" Chuck cracked. It came out of no where as he turned around, throwing his jacket against the pool table.

"What?..." Nate was totally perplexed.

"All my life I have had to compete for what I want. The one time I thought I could trust you, you threw it back in my face…." he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You're one to talk. Me and Blair were broken up for twenty minute and you had already taken her virginity. Don't talk to me about trust."

"What has Blair got to do with this?"

"You tell me. I know you Chuck. I can see right through you…and I know whatever is going on with you and Blair, you are shitting yourself."

Chuck rolled his eyes and looked away. Nate knew. Why wouldn't he? He was his best friend and had been for 20 years.

"You can't control everything. Sometimes you just need to let go…" Nate said calmly.

"I am not letting go."

"I'm not saying let go of Blair. I'm saying let go of what you're holding onto…stop running away from issues that are unresolved. I know you're not a coward… Chuck Bass isn't a coward".

Chuck could say no more, all that needed to be said had been.

"This was never about Raina and we both know it. Just let it go…"

Chuck made eye contact with Nate, giving him a nod. He left.

xoxo

"Mother!" Blair chirped up as she greeted her mother from the plane.

"Blair, darling!" Eleanor announced as she gave her daughter a rare hug.

"How was Paris? I heard it's been beautiful this week…"

"Beautiful indeed it was. Did you manage to do the errand I asked?"

"Of course, do you fancy discussing your trip over dinner? I have time to spare and it would be nice to catch up", Blair asked optimistically.

"Oh, no thank you Blair, I have to get to the office and do some paper work. Maybe next time?" Eleanor suggested as she scooted into the limo.

"Yes, of course." Blair said trying to hide the twinge of disappointment in her voice.

"What's more important than work?..." she added quietly before slipping in after her mother.

xoxo

The pair didn't speak much. Just the niceties and some casual banter as the limo roamed through New York towards the Waldorf office.

Blair glared through the glass window as the limo stretched across huge buildings and blocks.

She could feel the burn in her purse as she thought about where she could be right now, what she could be preparing for.

She looked down to her phone. 18.49pm it read. Eleven minutes remained, keeping her from her destiny. Only the force of her body could keep her from going to that place.

With every blink she saw his face, heard his voice, memorized his presence.

Blair Waldorf thought she knew everything; the thing was…she never really knew anything about love. Not until now. Not until Chuck.

As she concentrated on their travel path, the streets became all too familiar and before she knew it, the limo had come to a halt.

Blair turned to Eleanor in confusion.

"Why are we stopping?" she puzzled as Eleanor turned to her daughter's attention.

"You know why." She stated as she slid over to where Blair was sat.

"I don't understand…" she had no idea why her mother knew about the time and place of Chuck's proposed rendezvous.

"Serena called me and told me that you had been acting out of character", Eleanor responded.

"But I don't want to be here…" Blair felt her heart clench; of course she wanted to be here, the only thing keeping her from running into the building was pure fear.

"Do you love him?" she asked simply.

Blair didn't speak for the moment, instead letting the answer linger on her lips.

"I have always loved him…as long I remember, but it's not that simple anymore…" Blair finally answered, feeling the tears build at the corner of her eyes and the lump forming in her throat.

"I never said love was simple, but what is keeping you from being together?" Eleanor asked, taking Blair's hands in her own.

"Everything! Our history, our path, the hurt…" Blair could no longer stop the tears that seeped from her soul.

"Forgiving someone isn't weak Blair. Being weak is running away from the truth. And Waldorf's are not weak."

"He makes me weak…it scares me how vulnerable he makes me feel, like a little girl…" she offered as she let her mother hold her hands.

"It's not wrong to be scared; it's the most natural feeling in the world. The feeling that you don't know what is going to come next?..." Eleanor guessed.

Blair nodded.

"Tell me something Blair; after all the hurt, did you ever feel as if it wasn't worth fighting for?"

"Once…I just, I-I don't know anymore…"

She cried, letting Eleanor brush away her tears.

She cupped her daughter's face, like she had done so many times when she was a little girl.

"What does your heart say?" she asked softly.

"Run to him." She muttered bluntly.

"That's your answer…" she confirmed.

Blair began to shake her head.

"Last…last year, I followed my heart and it got trampled…then I followed my head and my heart hurt…" Blair protested.

Eleanor laughed little at how confusing her daughter was being.

"And what hurt more, trying to fight it with your head or following your heart?"

"Fighting it…"

Eleanor nodded in encouragement. Blair glanced down at her phone that was sitting in her lap.

19.06pm

"I've seen you two together; how strong you are, how passionate you are…that's what love is. The way he looks at you and you him. If it's meant to be, you'll stop fighting and be strong…"

Blair swallowed hard as she took in what her mother had said before nodding, she was nodding.

"Thank you…" Blair said as she began grabbing her phone and tossing it in her purse before moving for the door handle.

Just as she was about to step out of the limo, Eleanor caught her hand. Blair turned to see her face.

"I am so proud of you, Blair…. Now go!" Eleanor gestured with her honest smile. The smile Blair only saw once in a blue moon.

Blair replicated it and made a swift exit towards the doors, looking up to read the sign.

_Victrola_

She inhaled deeply before entering the familiar building.

Almost running inside, she couldn't see him anywhere. She began to panic, she had got there too late.

Just when she was about to give up hope, she scanned the room and noticed a door, the door to the roof. Chuck always did have a thing for roofs.

19.10pm

She ran up the stairs as fast as her Louis Vuittons could carry her.

xoxo

Her heart was thumping as she reached the final barrier between them. She reached into her purse and felt the black box between her fingers, letting them linger for a moment before removing it with her hand.

19.12pm

She pushed the door open to find, nothing.

Her heart raced in anticipation as she looked around the roof desperately until her eyes found what she was looking for.

A sigh of relief left her.

He mustn't have heard her, so instead she walked up behind him quietly.

Just before she reached him, he turned around, feeling her presence.

The look on his face was worth a million wishes. Priceless.

"You came?" he muttered in surprise.

The moment she didn't walk through the doors at seven, his heart ached with regret, with loss.

She nodded, smiling at his expression.

"I was resolved not to…every bone in my body tried to slow me, every voice in my head screamed 'don't'" she grinned at her recollection of words. So did he.

"Blair I-" she cut him off.

"Don't. I know you are, and so am I…but I don't care anymore. The stupidest thing I ever did was fall in love with you… but it was also the best thing I ever did and I will never take it back…"

He tried to speak again, but she stopped him with her perfect index finger against his taught lips.

Before he knew what she was doing, before he could stop her, she began to kneel on the cold floor of the roof. Dropping her purse in the process.

The sun was setting and the lights of the city shone around them as Blair took her position in front of the man she had fought so hard for.

"Blair what are you doing on the floor…" he tried, puzzled at her sudden stance.

"I told you not to speak." She shot, following it up with a smirk.

She pulled the box that had been safely wrapped behind her back in view. Chuck immediately felt warmth run to his heart, the fluttering dancing in his stomach.

"I don't want your apologies, I want your promise…I want you…" she demanded more than asked.

"For some reason unbeknown to me, I am in love with you, so deeply that I lose common sense! I lose my sanity and judgment when I am with you and it scares the shit out of me. But what scares me more is living without you…"

"So…Chuck Bass, you enormously stubborn, pain in _my _ass, will you promise to not hurt me ever again…not let me go?" She asked solemnly, holding the box in front of her.

She hadn't realised the few tears that had strayed from her eyes as Chuck knelt in front of her, closing his hands around the black box.

"I promise."

She smiled her real honest to god smile.

As did he.

"Well what are you waiting for? Ask me! This was not how it was supposed to happen!" Blair reminded him as she let go of the box.

Chuck wanted nothing more than to grab her and just hold her, but he had a Queen to claim.

He smirked at her return, as he helped her to her feet; just how it should be.

"Blair Cornelia Waldorf; the only woman I have _ever _and _will_ ever love…will you allow me to keep my promise and make me the happiest man in the world by agreeing to marry me; the man who is completely and utterly, crazily in love you?"

Blair bit her bottom lips as she dusted her tears away innocently.

"Chuck Bass is a romantic...who knew!" she whispered cheekily. "Why should I?" she smirked, waiting for his response.

He took the cue.

"Because… I'm Chuck Bass…and you're Blair Waldorf…" He grinned, opening the box as her eyes met the ring that had always been destined for her.

"I suppose I could make an exception…" she pondered as she let him take her left hand.

"Sorry, I didn't quite get that?..."

Blair shook her head. Chuck Bass always wanted the last word.

"Yes!"

He laughed as he finally slipped the band onto her finger, the perfect fit. Of course it was…

Without waiting another second, he pulled himself to his feet and took his _fiancé _into his arms, kissing her with every bit of life he had.

"I love you", he gasped in between kisses, making sure he was looking her in the eye.

"I love you too", she grinned as she moved her lips across his once more, whispering just as their lips touched…

"I promise…"

They held each other so what must have been a life time, what would always be a life time.

Nothing had ever felt more simple, nothing ever would. But all they knew was that this was real. They were real.

Hearts break, Tables turn and lives are emptied…only to be fixed and filled back up by the only person able.

ChuckandBlair BlairandChuck. Two lives colliding, two hearts mended…

Tables are always turning but sometimes… two lovers find their way back and the cracks can be mended…

* * *

A/N: Tadah! Oh you guys have been amazing! And of course, it was always going to be a HAPPY CHAIR ending! What do you take me for! teehee! Thank you to all the people that reviewed and supported me from the very start of this story; I hope this filled your expectations! You may disagree but I do not think an epilogue is needed unless there are requests! But all I have to say now is, thanks and I hope I see some of you reader reading my other stories in the future :D a final R&R would be lovely ;) and again, THANK YOU! x


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